pivotal moment in my life essay

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A Turning Point: An Event That Changed My Life Forever

Table of contents, the event: volunteer mission abroad, shifting perspectives and values, forging lasting connections, charting a new path.

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• Pivotal Moments: Recog...

Pivotal Moments: Recognizing and Embracing Life-Changing Turning Points

In  Webster’s Dictionary , the definition of pivotal includes “very important; critical.” A moment is described as “a precise point in time.” Pivotal moments are big moments and little moments of clarity that provide us with new perspectives and opportunities to change our lives. In turn, this transformation puts us in a position to help others change their lives. As you read, see if you can think of any pivotal or defining moments in your own life. Ask yourself if they were painful or exhilarating and think about how they changed you.

Several Moments Can Lead to a Pivotal One

Burn survivor Tony Gonzalez recalls several important moments that led to his “pivotal” one.

Tony had sustained burns to 95% of his body in a propane explosion. While being treated at Loyola Burn Center near Chicago, he was visited by Phoenix Society founder Alan Breslau and his wife, Delwyn. The couple were at the burn center to speak to the staff there.

Tony remembers that the Breslaus were very relaxed as they sat and chatted with him for almost an hour. They introduced him to the Phoenix Society, but more importantly, they introduced him to the possibility of a life after his devastating injury. That visit led to Tony’s decision to attend the 1999 Phoenix World Burn Congress —and to his primary pivotal moment.

Tony had been struggling his way through a very tough process—re-entering the community in a wheelchair, wearing a plastic facemask, and having virtually all of his exposed skin in some stage of scarring and healing. Despite his extreme nervousness, he headed to Phoenix WBC in Atlanta—alone. “I wanted to see what else was out there!” he recalls.

His big moment happened on the way to the conference hotel. Once the firefighters had picked him up at the airport, Tony found himself in a van full of other burn survivors.

Tony Gonzalez realized at his first Phoenix WBC "if they could do it, I could do it."

“Here I was ninety-plus percent burned, with fingers missing, and I shared the ride with five or six people who were missing limbs and had all kinds of prosthetics,” Tony says. He remembers chatting and getting to know them during the ride.

But once they arrived at the hotel, Tony immediately went to his room and didn’t venture out for quite a while. He knew he should head down to the conference, but without the protective and loving bubble of his family, he was feeling completely overwhelmed. After grounding himself, Tony decided to take a risk and finally go to dinner. While sitting with another survivor who had missing limbs, he realized that, as the evening progressed, his new friend’s prosthetics and injuries had “disappeared.”

“These people became my heroes,” says Tony about the survivors he met at that Phoenix WBC. “I realized that if they could do it, I could do it.”

His next pivotal moment occurred upon his return to the hospital—this time for a burn support group meeting. He arrived to find only three people in attendance and didn’t feel much of a connection to the group, but he decided to try again—this time taking his mother. His second experience was not any better. He felt there was a lot of complaining, and not a lot of support. But then he had the inspiration that led to his transformation.

“The pivotal moment for me was when I decided to stop just sitting there and listening, and start sharing!” Tony says. He recognized that all of the participants had a lot of problems, but he wanted to start talking about solutions.

Tony realized that if he wanted to get something out of the support experience, if the conversations were going to change, he was going to have to start contributing. This is the spirit he continues to bring to his current activities as a Phoenix SOAR® coordinator and peer supporter at Loyola Burn Center, and also as a community organizer, a fundraiser, and a leader in the burn community.

If you are a burn survivor who is still struggling, Tony wants you to remember who you were before your injury and then to find your “new normal." “Things will never be exactly like they used to be,” Tony says, “but things can be as good and different.”

An Important Moment Can Occur Organically

Jamie Nieto also attended the support group at Loyola Burn Center and he too reached a turning point there. He had been a patient at the hospital after sustaining burns to 55% of his body in a fire pit accident on the morning of his 20th birthday. Although he credits his mother and sister for being his “rocks” and saving his life, it was in those support group meetings that he became open to the potential of a life after burns.

That support group also led Jamie to travel to Baltimore, Maryland, in 2005 for his first Phoenix World Burn Congress. While there, he experienced a pivotal moment that was very subtle and occurred in what seemed like an unlikely place.

“I remember sitting around the bar talking and meeting everyone,” Jamie says about his second night at Phoenix WBC. “At that moment, there were no burn injuries or prosthetic legs among us; we were all just extremely connected and present with each other. All the scars fell away and we were just having fun. Looking back, I see I was more connected to the burn survivors doing a non-burn-recovery related activity.”

Jamie’s experience was not unusual. Many who are healing from a trauma find that important moments can come organically and in social environments.

“Don’t get me wrong, the support groups are great and the recovery programming is amazing and so healing,” says Jamie, “but the times I feel most connected to other burn survivors are when we are not talking about our burns, but just talking about life.”

After that first trip to Phoenix WBC, Jamie moved beyond thinking “Why me?” to “Why not me?” He has become extremely active in his hospital’s burn support group. He is a Phoenix SOAR peer supporter and, along with Tony, he raises money for burn recovery. Jamie attributes much of his success to support from Tony, as well as Barry Bennett, the social worker on the unit and the drive behind their support program.

“Surviving is the first victory,” says Jamie, and he believes it begins the day you live through your injury. “Instead of being victims,” he says, “we are victors.”

Jamie wants others on this journey to know that the healing never stops. Recovery is definitely not the easiest road to travel, he admits, but it is “doable.”

“I know it is an old cliché that what does not kill you will make you stronger,” he says, “but indeed I am a stronger person today than before my accident.”

Transformation Is a Process

Angie Merritt’s big pivotal moment resulted from a meeting 25 years ago with someone who would become her inspiration.

Angie had been the victim of a violent crime that left 75% of her body burned. As she was recovering from these injuries, she couldn’t imagine how she was going to reenter society. She recalls being rolled down the hall on a hospital gurney and passing a mirror. She made the nurse stop and go back. She remembers saying, “I want to see that person in the mirror. I know that is not me.” After that first look, she was terrified at the thought of facing people again.

Then, while in a rehabilitation hospital, Angie met Barbara Kammerer Quayle, a burn-survivor, educator, and long-time teacher of image enhancement for burn survivors. Barbara came to share her creative cosmetics techniques and social skills training with Angie. She taught her how to use makeup to deal with the skin discoloration caused by her burns. This simple tool gave Angie much hope and was a turning point for her. She enthusiastically recalls thinking that this woman was her heroine, saying, “Her fingers were burned worse than mine, yet she walked so proud! She was my Angelina Jolie! I really admired her.”

Angie moved to Las Vegas shortly after that. She continued to undergo surgeries at University Medical Center - Las Vegas. She became a volunteer in the burn unit, spending so much time there that she felt like an employee. However, she realized that to further her recovery she had to transfer that commitment to a paying job and get back into the world.

Angie recalls initially walking with her head down and often dreaming that the burns never happened. But utilizing the tools she learned from her mentor, Barbara, and thinking of herself as an actress helped her get through. She says she decided to act the part of someone proud and confident until she actually started to feel that way.

“In the morning, I put on my make-up like an actress and headed out in the world,” she say. “At night, I would take off my makeup like removing war paint and relax, having made it through the day and hopefully having been a model for other struggling people.”

Today, Angie feels proud when people notice her on the bus or in public. “I want people to see me, to see that you can survive and be happy,” she states. “If I can make someone happy, my work is done.”

Yes, there are still days that are difficult for her, days when she feels down, but more often than not she is positive. “I am happy today,” she says. “I have a home, a job and, am blessed with a wonderful family. I have God in my heart. What else could I ask for?”

Angie took another big step in her recovery when she decided to volunteer as a Phoenix SOAR peer supporter. That also led to her next transformative moment, one that was beautifully connected to the first.

Now Angie can do for others what Barbara once did for her, serve as a teacher and an inspiration. She advises burn survivors who are struggling to have faith that it will get better. She encourages them to hold their heads up and take advantage of every opportunity for growth. She cautions them not to always rely on others, but to instead get up and do things for themselves. Most importantly, she suggests, they should remember to laugh often.

Embracing Windows of Opportunity, Acting on Change

By reflecting on these three inspirational stories, we can deduce some of the basic “ingredients” that help transformational moments occur.

The first is contact with others who share a similar journey and who understand our story. This is the power of peer support and programs like the Phoenix World Burn Congress.

The second is environment. You have to get on that van, be in that social setting, attend that support group, or go to that make-up class. Getting there is most of the battle—taking the leap and venturing somewhere that frightens you or makes you hesitant is an important step.

The third is change. For some of us, the injury itself is the thing that changes our lives for the better by forcing us to make big changes and perhaps to look at ways in which we were previously living in sedentary or unhealthy ways. However, creating change often requires you to struggle a bit on your own and take risks.

Each person’s pivotal moment will be as different as their scars, yet by hearing one another’s stories we can find hope. It is important to remember that there are many struggles leading up to these Aha! moments and those moments cannot be forced. However, by embracing windows of opportunity and acting on change we can live beyond our wildest dreams.

As author Elizabeth Norris so eloquently says in her book Unbroken, “The pivotal moments in your life are always made up of smaller pieces, things that seemed insignificant at the time but in fact brought you to where you needed to be.”

Tony, Jamie, and Angie definitely prove her point.

James Bosch was burn injured as an infant. He has dedicated much of his professional life in the service of helping other burn survivors and their families heal and find meaning after a burn. Acceptance of new life, new body, and finding new meaning are at the core of his work. He speaks and facilitates at burn meetings in Canada and the United States. He is a member of the Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors SOAR National Advisory Committee and a consultant.

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Describe an Event that Changed Your Life (or, Changed You) in a Good Way - IELTS Speaking Cue Card Model Answer

Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way..

You should say:

when it happened

where it happened

what the change was

and explain how you benefited from this change.

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Model Answer 1

A pivotal moment that redefined my life occurred during the summer of 2018, in the serene surroundings of a mountain retreat. This life-altering event was not marked by grand fanfare; instead, it was a quiet realization during a meditation retreat. The change was profound yet subtle – it was the embracement of mindfulness and a newfound appreciation for the present moment.

Before this experience, my life was in constant fast-forward, with my mind perpetually racing from one worry to the next. It was during a session of guided meditation, enveloped by the tranquil mountain air and the gentle rustling of leaves, that I experienced a profound sense of peace. This tranquility was not merely the absence of noise; it was an awakening to the beauty of the present.

This transformation has had lasting effects on my life. Embracing mindfulness has allowed me to approach daily challenges with calmness and clarity. Stressful situations, which previously overwhelmed me, now seem manageable as I have learned to maintain a composed and focused mind. This change has enhanced my interpersonal relationships as well; I listen more attentively, respond more thoughtfully, and appreciate the nuances of communication. Moreover, this shift has positively influenced my career, where the ability to remain present and composed under pressure is invaluable.

In essence, the change was not just in my actions, but in my perspective. The realization that living in the moment is not just a phrase, but a transformative practice, has been the cornerstone of this positive shift. This journey towards mindfulness has not only enriched my personal experiences but has also imbued me with a sense of serenity and purpose, attributes that have significantly enhanced the quality of my life.

Why this is a High Scoring Answer

This sample answer is an exemplary response to the question, "Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way," and serves as a model for those aiming to achieve high scores in the IELTS Speaking section. Here's a detailed breakdown of why this answer is effective:

1.    Comprehensive Coverage: The answer thoroughly addresses all aspects of the question. It clearly states the when (summer of 2018) and where (mountain retreat) of the event. The what (embracement of mindfulness and appreciation of the present moment) and the explanation of how the candidate benefited (improved handling of stress, enhanced interpersonal relationships, and positive career impact) are also well-articulated.

2.    Depth of Reflection and Personal Insight: The response demonstrates deep personal insight, reflecting on how the candidate's life was before the event and the transformative impact it had. The journey from a life in "constant fast-forward" to one of "mindfulness" shows a profound level of self-awareness, which is a key aspect of effective communication.

3.    Descriptive Language: The use of descriptive language, such as "tranquil mountain air" and "gentle rustling of leaves," paints a vivid picture for the listener, engaging them in the narrative. This ability to create imagery is a hallmark of advanced language skills.

4.    Cohesiveness and Fluency: The response flows smoothly from one point to the next, maintaining a clear and logical structure. This cohesiveness is essential for keeping the listener engaged and for conveying thoughts in an organized manner.

5.    Vocabulary and Grammar: The answer showcases a wide range of vocabulary and complex grammatical structures, without compromising clarity. Phrases like "profound sense of peace" and "embracement of mindfulness" are indicative of a high level of language proficiency.

For those looking to further enhance their preparation, our exclusive IELTS books (pdf download) delve into these aspects in greater detail. These resources are crafted to guide you through mastering the nuances of the English language, ensuring you can confidently articulate experiences and ideas just as effectively.

This sample answer exemplifies what you can learn and replicate with our expert guidance. Remember, your journey to achieving a high IELTS score is not just about learning the language; it's about learning how to convey your unique experiences and insights in a way that resonates with others.

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Model Answer 2

One transformative event that significantly reshaped my life's trajectory occurred in the autumn of 2016, amidst the bustling streets of New York City. This defining moment was not one of dramatic revelation, but rather a gradual awakening sparked by volunteering at a local community center.

The change was a deep-seated shift in perspective, from a self-centered worldview to one marked by empathy and a commitment to service. Prior to this experience, my life revolved around personal ambitions and material success. However, engaging with diverse individuals from various walks of life, all converging at this hub of community activity, opened my eyes to the broader spectrum of human experience.

The transformation was multi-faceted. On a personal level, I developed a profound sense of gratitude for the privileges I had taken for granted. This shift in mindset led to a more fulfilling life, where happiness was not solely derived from personal achievements but also from the joy of contributing to the well-being of others. Professionally, this experience broadened my horizons, inspiring me to pursue a career in social work, a field I had never previously considered.

Moreover, this volunteering stint honed my interpersonal skills, teaching me the value of active listening, empathy, and effective communication. These skills have not only made me a more compassionate individual but also a more adept professional, capable of building meaningful relationships and understanding diverse viewpoints.

In essence, this experience redefined my life's purpose. It instilled in me the belief that true fulfillment comes from serving others and contributing to a greater good. This newfound purpose has guided my decisions and actions, leading to a more enriching and rewarding life journey.

This sample answer is an excellent illustration of how to effectively respond to the topic, "Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way." It stands out as a high-scoring answer for several reasons:

1.    Fulfilling the Question Requirements: The speaker vividly recounts an event - volunteering in New York City - that brought about a significant change in their life. This directly addresses the topic, detailing both the event and its transformative impact.

2.    Depth of Personal Growth and Insight: The answer showcases a profound personal transformation from a focus on self to a dedication to service and empathy. This level of introspection and reflection on personal growth demonstrates a deep understanding of the subject matter, which is essential in conveying a compelling narrative.

3.    Rich and Descriptive Language: The use of descriptive and emotive language, such as "gradual awakening" and "deep-seated shift in perspective," enhances the quality of the response. This not only engages the listener but also shows mastery of language, a critical component of the IELTS Speaking test.

4.    Cohesive Structure and Flow: The response is well-structured, with a clear beginning, development, and conclusion. This coherence in storytelling ensures that the listener can easily follow and understand the narrative.

5.    Variety in Vocabulary and Sentence Structure: The speaker employs a wide range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures, demonstrating linguistic proficiency. Phrases like "multi-faceted transformation" and "instilled in me the belief" are examples of advanced language use.

6.    Relevance and Relatability: The narrative is relatable and grounded in real-life experiences, making it more impactful and genuine. Discussing the impact of volunteering on both personal and professional levels makes the response more comprehensive and relevant.

For those eager to craft equally compelling responses and enhance their IELTS Speaking skills, our exclusive IELTS books (pdf download) are an invaluable resource. They provide you with insights and strategies to articulate your experiences and ideas with clarity and confidence, mirroring the high standards demonstrated in this answer.

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Model Answer 3

A pivotal moment that irrevocably transformed my life unfolded in the spring of 2019, against the backdrop of the historic city of Rome. This life-altering event was my first solo international travel experience, a journey that not only spanned continents but also expanded the horizons of my mind.

The change was profound and multifaceted. Embracing the unknown, navigating through the labyrinthine streets of a foreign land, and immersing myself in a culture vastly different from my own, instilled in me an unshakeable confidence and an insatiable curiosity. Prior to this expedition, my world view was limited, shaped largely by my immediate surroundings and second-hand narratives. However, this solo voyage introduced me to the rich tapestry of global cultures, languages, and perspectives.

The transformation was both personal and intellectual. Personally, the journey fostered a sense of independence and self-reliance that I had never experienced before. Each decision, from choosing the next destination to overcoming language barriers, was a step towards self-discovery and growth. Intellectually, it broadened my understanding of the world, teaching me the value of cultural diversity and the importance of global interconnectedness.

Moreover, this travel experience refined my problem-solving skills and adaptability, traits that have proven invaluable in both personal and professional realms. It taught me to approach challenges with a calm and open mind, turning obstacles into opportunities for learning and growth.

In summary, this solo journey was not just a physical traverse across countries; it was a voyage into the depths of my own potential. It reshaped my identity, turning me into a global citizen, eager to explore, learn, and connect with the diverse tapestry of humanity that makes our world so rich and fascinating.

This sample answer excellently addresses the topic "Describe an event that changed your life (or, changed you) in a good way," and here's a detailed analysis of its strengths:

1.    Directly Addresses the Topic: The speaker immediately engages with the topic by describing their solo travel to Rome. This direct approach ensures that the listener understands the relevance of the narrative to the topic.

2.    Depth and Insight: The response reflects a deep level of personal and intellectual growth. The speaker talks about gaining "an unshakeable confidence and an insatiable curiosity," showcasing significant self-awareness and development.

3.    Descriptive and Vivid Language: The use of descriptive phrases like "navigating through the labyrinthine streets" and "the rich tapestry of global cultures" not only demonstrates a high level of language proficiency but also keeps the listener engaged.

4.    Clear Structure and Cohesion: The answer has a well-organized structure, flowing logically from the introduction of the event to its personal and intellectual impact. This clear progression of ideas is crucial for coherence and listener comprehension.

5.    Demonstration of Key Skills: The narrative illustrates important qualities like independence, adaptability, and problem-solving, which are highly valued in both the IELTS criteria and real-world scenarios.

6.    Cultural Awareness and Global Perspective: The speaker's reflections on cultural diversity and global interconnectedness show a broadened worldview, a key aspect of a high-scoring IELTS response.

For those aiming to achieve similar depth and proficiency in their IELTS Speaking responses, our exclusive IELTS books (pdf download) provide you with the tools and insights necessary for success. These resources, designed with you in mind, offer strategies to enhance your speaking skills, enabling you to articulate your experiences and ideas with clarity and confidence, much like the response given here.

In an IELTS Speaking exam, it's crucial to present ideas in a manner that is not only articulate and well-structured but also personal and reflective. This sample demonstrates how you can successfully achieve this balance, making it an excellent model for high-scoring responses.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, how should i describe a life event in my essay that prepared me for college.

So I'm drafting my college essay and I've got this life event that really impacted me and I think it shows I'm ready for college. But how do I describe it in a way that's compelling and not just telling a story? Any advice from those who tackled something similar?

When you're describing a life event in your college essay, it's important to focus on reflection, rather than merely recounting the event. Think about how this experience has shaped your perspective, influenced your goals, or contributed to your character development.

Start by setting the scene to engage the reader, then swiftly move to express how this event was pivotal in your personal growth. Show rather than tell; for example, if you're writing about how you overcame a challenge, detail the steps you took and the resourcefulness or resilience you displayed with active descriptions and action rather than a passive explanation. You want to make it clear why this event makes you a strong candidate for college by connecting it to attributes like determination, leadership, or a passion for learning. Remember to close your essay by looking forward; explain how the event has prepared you for the challenges of college and beyond, and how it will inform your contributions to the college community.

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Essay on An Important Day in My Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on An Important Day in My Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on An Important Day in My Life

Introduction.

My life has been full of memorable days, but one day stands out. It was the day I won the school’s annual science fair.

The Preparation

I had worked for months on my project, a model of a solar-powered car. I had faced many challenges but never gave up.

On the day of the fair, I was nervous. I presented my project to the judges and answered their questions.

Finally, the moment came. My name was announced as the winner! It was a day of immense joy and pride. It taught me the value of hard work and perseverance.

250 Words Essay on An Important Day in My Life

The dawn of realization, the unanticipated event.

I was attending a seminar on climate change, a topic I had a passing interest in but never deeply explored. The speaker, an esteemed environmental scientist, presented a stark picture of our planet’s future. The data was chilling, but what truly struck me was the human cost of our actions.

The Moment of Epiphany

The scientist narrated a story about a small Pacific island slowly disappearing under the rising sea levels. The inhabitants, unable to fight the encroaching waters, were forced to abandon their ancestral homes. This tale of human suffering due to our collective negligence shook me to the core. I felt a surge of responsibility, a calling to contribute to the solution.

The Transformation

That day, I committed myself to the cause of environmental conservation. I switched my major to Environmental Science, driven by the desire to understand the complexities of our ecosystem and contribute to its preservation. It was a decision that not only shaped my academic path but also my personal beliefs and values.

The 12th of June, 2015, was not just another day. It was the day I found my purpose and embraced a cause larger than myself. It was the day I learned that knowledge, when combined with empathy, can be a powerful catalyst for change. It was, undoubtedly, an important day in my life.

500 Words Essay on An Important Day in My Life

Life is a blend of joyous and challenging moments that shape our personality and growth. Among those moments, there are a few that leave an indelible mark, becoming a turning point in our lives. This essay narrates such an important day in my life, the day I discovered my passion for artificial intelligence.

Awakening to a New World

The speaker was a renowned AI researcher. His eloquent narration of how artificial intelligence is revolutionizing various industries captivated me. I was intrigued by how AI could mimic human intelligence, learn from experiences, and make decisions. The idea of machines learning and evolving fascinated me, and I found myself engrossed in the discussion.

The Spark of Curiosity

Post-seminar, I was brimming with questions. I wanted to understand how AI worked, its potential, and its implications. This curiosity was a new feeling, something I hadn’t experienced with other subjects. The seminar had sparked a flame in me that I could not ignore.

Embracing the Passion

As the day ended, I realized that my interest in AI wasn’t fleeting. It was a passion that I wanted to pursue further. I decided to major in AI and contribute to this revolutionary field. This decision wasn’t easy, as it meant deviating from my original plan. But the excitement and curiosity I felt for AI were unparalleled.

Looking back, I realize that this day was a significant milestone in my life. It was the day I discovered my passion and decided to follow it. It taught me the importance of being open to new experiences and the power of curiosity. This important day in my life was a testament to the fact that sometimes, life-altering decisions come from unexpected experiences.

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Have You Ever Experienced a Pivotal Moment in Your Life?

From my podcast of the same name .

Today we’re talking about pivotal or defining moments in our lives.  Singular or plural.  Have you ever experienced one?  If so, was it painful or exhilarating?  How did it change you?

Maybe you’ve never labeled your aha moments as such—pivotal—but we all have moments where our vision has been irrevocably altered or something additional has been revealed to us.  These moments are life-changing, and can affect us positively or negatively.  And we’re not only talking major life events such as leaving home for college or your graduation or your wedding or the death of a loved one or your first baby or the purchase of your first house.  Add in there the smaller, more private things, such as conquering an addiction or going through a divorce or making a career change or overhearing a conversation that answered a question you’d been asking.

In 1964, Nelson Mandela, along with 8 others from the African National Congress, was tried and sentenced to life in prison for treason.  Mandela had led the charge against the government, protesting their use of force—their armies, police forces, and jails—against the African National Congress’s anti-apartheid movement.  The government fought back.

You might say Mandela’s speech in that courtroom on April 20th, 1964, was a pivotal moment for him.  He became a worldwide symbol for freedom and democracy, and despite the fact that he was imprisoned for 27 years, he emerged stronger than ever, serving as South Africa’s president from 1994-1999.

Many of us don’t get an opportunity to give a speech where we believe in something so strongly, we’re prepared to die for it.  Mandela did.  That day he said, “I have cherished the idea of a democratic and free society in which all persons will live together in harmony and with equal opportunity.  It is an ideal for which I hope to live for. But, my Lord, if it needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”

I would call that a pivotal moment.  Wouldn’t you?

Years ago, my therapist told me that everyone—whether or not he or she knows it—has gone through a seminal event in his or her life—one that usually occurs when he or she is a child, and one that determines major personality traits.  In the years since then, when given the opportunity, I’ve asked my friends and family what theirs is.  Some instantly launch into the retelling of theirs.  Others have more difficulty.

I knew mine right away.  I was twelve.  I had just gotten my first period, and was a little perturbed with the whole concept.  Then I was invited to visit my grandmother in California.  Just me.  It would be a special trip, where I’d get to fly on the plane alone, and spend some fun time with a person I thought was pretty darn cool.

Well, as you might have guessed, I got my second period while on my trip, complete with severe, curl-up-on-the-bed cramps and pounding headaches.  But my grandmother had other plans.  We were going to dinner with her sister and husband.  We were going to Knott’s Berry Farm.   There was no time for wallowing in pain.  I begged to stay in bed, just until the pain went away, and that’s when she leaned over and said, “Elissa, plenty of women have gone through this and survived.  I want you to get out of bed this minute.  We’re going, whether you want to or not!”

Now, that may seem insignificant to you, but my grandmother was so irritated that I had tried to thwart her plans, that when she flew home with me (to spend her week with my family as she did each summer), she told my mother that I was a selfish young girl and that I thought only of myself.  When my mother approached me with this information, sad that I could be this way, I felt betrayed, by my grandmother and by my body.

That whole thing about me being a bad person, a selfish person, became something I had to overcome.  I was going to be better from now on.  They’d see.  I was going to take care of myself, rely on no one else to help me through.  I would babysit to provide my own clothes, my own shoes.  I would pay for any incidentals I would need at school.  I wouldn’t need anyone else.

I was going to be perfect.

Although it’s frightening how I extrapolated all these promises to myself as a twelve-year-old, those character traits continued for years afterward.  I was self-sufficient, or so I thought.  I was going to show everyone, or so I thought.  That kind of thinking made me successful at so many things, but it hollowed me out inside, if you know what I mean.

So, on the one hand it got me to where I am today.  On the other hand, I’ve had to unlearn all those mantras I had going on in my head.

I’ve had other pivotal moments—positive ones.  After I’d been accepted to physical therapy school, after college, I overheard a friend talking about her adventures teaching fifth graders, and I instantly knew that I wasn’t cut out for the repetition in physical therapy.  I needed a career that changed every year, and certainly I would get this in teaching.

After reading Karen Maezen Miller’s Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood , I finally realized I didn’t have to be perfect to be a mother.  I could take one day at a time.  So, we submitted our adoption papers, and today we have a beautiful, curious, fun-loving 5 year-old daughter.

When my agent emailed me, “What about Eve?” I began writing the novel that would be my first book.

Likewise, Bart Ehrman’s books have flung me onto an entirely different path, one I could never have anticipated.  The rest is history, as they say.  And I continue to have these learning moments that are changing who I am, who I want to be, and how I relate to the world.

How about you?  What events in your life have made you, molded you, into who you are today?

[Post image: Sunburst by A-Hahn on stock.xchng ]

Related Posts

Another great post. It’s got me thinking again about what the pivotal moments in my life have been. And it’s interesting to look back and see that the moments I choose as pivotal NOW are different than the moments I would have chosen 20 years ago. I love how we evolve and grow and change and how we’re made up of all these pivotal moments… positive and negative. Thanks for another great post.

Yes, I think hindsight is always 20/20, or closer to 20/20 than when we’re “in it.” 🙂

Kind of a sad story about your grandmother. However, it seemed to be an important step in your development (psychologically speaking). How long did it take for you to realize that this was so pivotal? Sometimes I feel as if I am going through something pivital, but after some time, it seems less impactful. Divorce seems to be a clear pivotal moment.

Good question. I think I realized it was pivotal then, of course, because I was making “drastic” decisions about not trusting anyone, not relying on anyone. It wasn’t until later, after I left home, that I realized I could have stood up to the accusations. And then later, after I’d been through lots of counseling, I realized that it had molded me into a perfectionist of sorts…and of course, that was good AND bad. Then I had to take myself to task, to rid myself of all the messages I had convinced myself of.

So, yes, I think moments have degrees of impact. I suppose you could point to the ones that you feel CHANGED you somehow. Divorce could make you a stronger, happier person OR it could make you lonely and bitter. Your choice. Either way, it’s a pivotal moment, in my humble opinion. 🙂

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Those pivotal moments

by Harsha | Feb 17, 2020 | Career Development , Life Choices | 0 comments

We sometimes face pivotal moments in life when it feels like we have reached a threshold.  A point of no return where you feel that something has to change. I experienced this in my own career some years ago, when I decided to to take the leap to focus on what really interests me. And, at various points in my personal life, when I decided to put in place firmer boundaries around negative personal relationships. Whatever the specific context, these pivotal moments are truly valuable. But, you have to seize them when they arise!

Noticing the pivotal moments

We are often so busy with day-to-day demands and being in “doing mode” that even when a pivotal moment comes, you might fail to notice it. Perhaps because you have sold yourself a particular narrative that ignores what has come-up. Because the new information is just too painful to acknowledge, such that you prefer that it wasn’t true.

Whether it is being repeatedly under-appreciated by a friend , boss or romantic partner; or whether it is  feeling incongruence between your values and your work, you must first notice what is happening in order to make something of it!

You have to look

I remember a conversation I once had with a coachee who had been led to expect a new career role only to be let down at the last minute. What she first brushed aside as “the way things work here” actually revealed much more upon deeper enquiry. Much more about how she really felt. Her discomfort, not only with the specific instance of her treatment, but the organisation’s ethos more generally.  Something that she had always had at the back of her mind, but never dared to fully challenge.  But, now she had an opportunity. An opportunity born out of circumstance, to consider what was right for her.

Seizing the pivotal moments in life

What characterises pivotal moments in life as being ‘pivotal’ is not necessarily how they look to others. It is more about how they feel to YOU. Such moments do not have to be as ‘visible’ as being passed-over for promotion or being let down badly by a friend. It could be a subtle event or comment that strikes a chord. That causes a shift inside you. That makes you open your eyes to something fundamental that you had not been attuned to thus far.

Sometimes, the event is so dramatic that it forces you to review your life, but how many other valuable opportunities are you missing? Whether you act upon a pivotal moment or not, you empower yourself simply through a recognition of them. Recognition that creates choice and the possibility of change.

So, ask yourself: “How aware am I of those pivotal moments in life that come-up? Am I willing to seize them?”

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Home — Essay Samples — Psychology — Adolescence — Personal Narrative Essay: My Experience In My Life

Personal Narrative Essay: My Experience in My Life

• Categories: Adolescence

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Words: 620 |

Published: Mar 13, 2024

Words: 620 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

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Early childhood, adolescence, young adulthood.

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