a bad friend essay

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Characteristics of a Bad Friend

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Published: Mar 14, 2024

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Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Students are often asked to write an essay on Effect of Bad Friends in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Introduction.

Friends are an essential part of our lives. They influence our behavior and decisions. Bad friends, however, can have a negative impact on us.

Effects on Behavior

Bad friends can lead us to adopt harmful habits. They may encourage lying, cheating, or even bullying, which can harm our character.

Impact on Academics

Bad friends might not value education. They could distract us from our studies, leading to poor academic performance.

Influence on Mental Health

Being with bad friends can cause stress and anxiety. It can lead to a feeling of constant pressure to fit in.

Choosing the right friends is important. Good friends help us grow, while bad friends can lead us astray.

250 Words Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Friendships, an integral part of human life, significantly influence one’s personality and life choices. However, not all friendships are beneficial. The negative impact of bad friends can be profound and long-lasting, affecting various aspects of one’s life.

Psychological Impact

Bad friends can have a detrimental psychological impact. They may encourage harmful behaviors such as substance abuse, bullying, or dishonesty. Such behaviors can lead to feelings of guilt, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Moreover, they can distort one’s perception of normality, making harmful behaviors seem acceptable.

Academic Consequences

Bad friends can also affect academic performance. Students may be persuaded to neglect their studies in favor of unproductive activities. This can lead to poor academic performance, limiting future opportunities and career prospects.

Social Implications

The social implications of bad friendships are significant. Bad friends can isolate individuals from their families and positive peer groups, leading to a sense of alienation. This isolation can further exacerbate negative behaviors and mental health issues.

In conclusion, bad friends can have a devastating impact on an individual’s psychological well-being, academic performance, and social life. It is crucial to recognize the signs of a toxic friendship and take steps to distance oneself. After all, the quality of friendships is more important than quantity. Choosing friends wisely is not just about personal happiness, but also about mental health and future success.

500 Words Essay on Effect of Bad Friends

Friendship is a fundamental human need that shapes our social and emotional development. However, not all friendships are beneficial. Negative relationships, often characterized by manipulation, disrespect, and harmful influence, can have profound effects on an individual’s life. This essay explores the impact of bad friends on various aspects of a person’s life.

The Psychological Impact

Bad friends can have a significant psychological impact. Often, they are manipulative and exploit vulnerabilities for personal gain, leading to a decrease in self-esteem and self-worth in the victim. This manipulation can result in feelings of worthlessness and a distorted self-image. Additionally, bad friends can foster a toxic environment that fuels anxiety and depression, leading to a decline in mental health.

Influence on Behavior and Decision Making

Friends play a substantial role in shaping an individual’s behavior and decision-making process. Bad friends can lead one down a path of destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse, academic dishonesty, and criminal activities. The desire to fit in or gain approval can make one susceptible to peer pressure, compelling them to make poor decisions that they might not have considered otherwise.

Impact on Personal Growth and Development

Bad friends can hinder personal growth and development. They can stifle individuality and discourage positive change, keeping their friends in a state of stagnation. This can limit one’s potential and prevent them from achieving their goals. Furthermore, bad friends often lack empathy and understanding, which can lead to a lack of emotional growth and maturity.

Effect on Other Relationships

The influence of bad friends extends beyond the individual, affecting their relationships with others. Their toxic behaviors can strain relationships with family members and other friends, leading to isolation. Additionally, they can instill negative perceptions of others, causing one to develop unhealthy relationships based on distrust and manipulation.

The impact of bad friends is far-reaching, affecting psychological well-being, behavior, personal growth, and other relationships. It is crucial to recognize the signs of a bad friendship and take steps to distance oneself from such toxic influences. Building a network of positive, supportive, and uplifting friends can counteract the negative effects and promote healthier emotional and social development. As the saying goes, we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so choosing our friends wisely is of paramount importance.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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My comment is that we should not keep bad company It’s not good

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French teenagers on a boat in the Seine river, Paris, 1988. Photo by David Alan Harvey/Magnum

Bad friends

Even the best of friends can fill you with tension and make you sick. why does friendship so readily turn toxic.

by Carlin Flora   + BIO

Think of a time when you sat across from a friend and felt truly understood. Deeply known. Maybe you sensed how she was bringing out your ‘best self’, your cleverest observations and wittiest jokes. She encouraged you. She listened, articulated one of your patterns, and then gently suggested how you might shift it for the better. The two of you gossiped about your mutual friends, skipped between shared memories, and delved into cherished subjects in a seamlessly scripted exchange full of shorthand and punctuated with knowing expressions. Perhaps you felt a warm swell of admiration for her, and a simultaneous sense of pride in your similarity to her. You felt deep satisfaction to be valued by someone you held in such high regard: happy, nourished and energised through it all.

These are the friendships that fill our souls, and bolster and shape our identities and life paths. They have also been squeezed into social science labs enough times for us to know that they keep us mentally and physically healthy: good friends improve immunity , spark creativity , drop our blood pressure, ward off dementia among the elderly , and even decrease our chances of dying at any given time. If you feel you can’t live without your friends, you’re not being melodramatic.

But even our easiest and richest friendships can be laced with tensions and conflicts, as are most human relationships. They can lose a bit of their magic and fail to regain it, or even fade out altogether for tragic reasons, or no reason at all. Then there are the not-so-easy friendships; increasingly difficult friendships; and bad, gut-wrenching, toxic friendships. The pleasures and benefits of good friends are abundant, but they come with a price. Friendship, looked at through a clear and wide lens, is far messier and more lopsided than it is often portrayed.

The first cold splash on an idealised notion of friendship is the data showing that only about half of friendships are reciprocal . This is shocking to people, since research confirms that we actually assume nearly all our friendships are reciprocal. Can you guess who on your list of friends wouldn’t list you?

One explanation for imbalance is that many friendships are aspirational : a study of teens shows that people want to be friends with popular people, but those higher up the social hierarchy have their pick (and skew the average). A corroborating piece of evidence, which was highlighted by Steven Strogatz in a 2012 article in The New York Times, is the finding that your Facebook ‘friends’ always have, on average, more ‘friends’ than you do. So much for friendship being an oasis from our status-obsessed world.

‘Ambivalent’ relationships, in social science parlance, are characterised by interdependence and conflict. You have many positive and negative feelings toward these people. You might think twice about picking up when they call. These relationships turn out to be common, too. Close to half of one’s important social network members are identified as ambivalent. Granted, more of those are family members (whom we’re stuck with) than friends, but still, for friendship, it’s another push off the pedestal.

Friends who are loyal, reliable, interesting companions – good! – can also be bad for you, should they have other qualities that are less desirable. We know through social network research that depressed friends make it more likely you’ll be depressed, obese friends make it more likely you’ll become obese, and friends who smoke or drink a lot make it more likely you’ll smoke and drink more.

Other ‘good’ friends might have, or start to have, goals, values or habits that misalign with your current or emerging ones. They certainly haven’t ‘done’ anything to you. But they aren’t a group that validates who you are, or that will effortlessly lift you up toward your aims over time. Stay with them, and you’ll be walking against the wind.

In addition to annoying us, these mixed-bag friendships harm our health. A 2003 study by Julianne Holt-Lunstad from Brigham Young University and Bert Uchino from the University of Utah asked people to wear blood-pressure monitors and write down interactions with various people. Blood pressure was higher with ambivalent relationships than it was with friends or outright enemies. This is probably due to the unpredictability of these relationships, which leads us to be vigilant: Will Jen ruin Christmas this year? Ambivalent relationships have also been associated with increased cardiovascular reactivity, greater cellular ageing , lowered resistance to stress, and a decreased sense of wellbeing.

One research team, though, found that ambivalent friendships might have benefits in the workplace. They showed that in these pairings workers are more likely to put themselves in the other’s shoes, in part because they are trying to figure out what the relationship means and what it is. Also, because ambivalent friendships make you feel uncertain about where you stand, they can push you to work harder to establish your position.

‘Frenemies’ are perhaps a separate variety in that they are neatly multi-layered – friendliness atop rivalry or dislike – as opposed to the ambivalent relationship’s admixture of love, hate, annoyance, pity, devotion and tenderness. Plenty of people have attested to the motivating force of a frenemy at work, as well as in the realms of romance and parenting.

A s with unhappy families, there are countless ways a friend can be full-on ‘bad’, no ambivalence about it. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist in Denver, and Sharon Livingston, a psychologist and marketing consultant in New York, have studied the issue, and found some typical qualities: a bad friend makes you feel competitive with her other friends; she talks much more about herself than you do about yourself; she criticises you in a self-righteous way but is defensive when you criticise her; she makes you feel you’re walking on eggshells and might easily spark her anger or disapproval; she has you on an emotional rollercoaster where one day she’s responsive and complimentary and the next she freezes you out.

In 2014 , a team at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh found that, as the amount of negativity in relationships increased for healthy women aged over 50, so did their risk of developing hypertension. Negative social interactions – incidents including excessive demands, criticism, disappointment and disagreeable exchanges – were related to a 38 per cent increased risk. For men, there was no link between bad relationships and high blood pressure. This is likely because women care more about, and are socialised to pay more attention to, relationships.

Negative interactions can lead to inflammation, too, in both men and women. Jessica Chiang, a researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, who conducted a study showing as much, has said that an accumulation of social stressors could cause physical damage, just like an actual toxin.

Some of our most hurtful friendships start out good, but then became bad. Among teens, for example, the rates of cyber aggression are 4.3 times higher between friends than between friends of friends. Or as Diane de Poitiers, the 16th-century mistress of King Henry II of France, said: ‘To have a good enemy, choose a friend: he knows where to strike.’

The writer Robert Greene addresses the slippery slope in his book The 48 Laws of Power (1998). Bringing friends into your professional endeavours can aid the gradual crossover from ‘good’ to ‘bad’, he warns, in part because of how we react to grand favours:

Strangely enough, it is your act of kindness that unbalances everything. People want to feel they deserve their good fortune. The receipt of a favour can become oppressive: it means you have been chosen because you are a friend, not necessarily because you are deserving. There is almost a touch of condescension in the act of hiring friends that secretly afflicts them. The injury will come out slowly: a little more honesty, flashes of resentment and envy here and there, and before you know it your friendship fades.

Ah – so too much giving and ‘a little more honesty’ are friendship-disrupters? That conclusion, which runs counter to the ethos of total openness and unlimited generosity between friends, provides a clue as to why there are so many ‘bad’, ‘good and bad’, and ‘good, then bad’ friends. In his paper ‘The Evolution of Reciprocal Altruism’ (1971), the evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers concludes that ‘each individual human is seen as possessing altruistic and cheating tendencies’, where cheating means giving at least a bit less (or taking at least a bit more) than a friend would give or take from us.

Good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps)

Trivers goes on to explain that we have evolved to be subtle cheaters, with complex mechanisms for regulating bigger cheaters and also ‘too much’ altruism. He writes:

In gross cheating, the cheater fails to reciprocate at all, and the altruist suffers the costs of whatever altruism he has dispensed without any compensating benefit… clearly, selection will strongly favour prompt discrimination against the gross cheater. Subtle cheating, by contrast, involves reciprocating, but always attempting to give less than one was given, or more precisely, to give less than the partner would give if the situation were reversed.

The rewarding emotion of ‘liking’ someone is also a part of this psychological regulation system, and selection will favour liking those who are altruistic: good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps). But the issue is not whether we are cheaters or altruists, good or bad, but to what degree are we each of those things in different contexts and relationships.

P erhaps this seesaw between cheating and altruism, which settles to a midpoint of 50/50, explains why 50 per cent keeps coming up in research on friends and relationships. Recall that half of our friendships are non-reciprocal, half of our social network consists of ambivalent relationships, and – to dip into the adjacent field of lie detection – the average person detects lies right around 50 per cent of the time. We evolved to be able to detect enough lies to not be totally swindled, but not enough to wither under the harsh truths of (white-lie-free) social interactions. Likewise, we’ve evolved to detect some cheating behaviours in friends, but not enough to prohibit our ability to be friends with people at all. As the seesaw wobbles, so do our friendships.

Should this sound like a complicated business to you, Trivers agrees, and in fact speculates that the development of this system for regulating altruism among non-kin members is what made our brains grow so big in the Pleistocene. Many neuroscientists agree with his conclusion: humans are smart so that we can navigate friendship.

The psychologist Jan Yager, author of When Friendship Hurts (2002), found that 68 per cent of survey respondents had been betrayed by a friend. Who are these betrayers? At such high numbers, could ‘they’ be us?

We somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are

That scary thought leads me to ask: are we really striving to forgive small sins? To air our grievances before they accumulate and blow up our friendships? To make the effort to get together? To give others the benefit of the doubt? Are we giving what we can, or keeping score? Are we unfairly expecting friends to think and believe the exact same things we do? Are we really doing the best we can? Well, maybe that’s what most of our friends think they are doing, too. And if they aren’t being a good friend, or if they have drifted away from us, or we from them, maybe we can accept these common rifts, without giving into a guilt so overwhelming that it pushes us to slap a label on those we no longer want for friends: toxic.

When a friend breaks up with us, or disappears without explanation, it can be devastating. Even though the churning and pruning of social networks is common over time, we still somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are, especially if we’ve been intertwined with a friend for many years. Pulsing with hurt in the wake of a friend break-up, we hurl him or her into the ‘bad friends’ basket.

But, sometimes, we have to drop a friend to become ourselves. In Connecting in College (2016), the sociologist Janice McCabe argues that ending friendships in young adulthood is a way of advancing our identities. We construct our self-images and personalities against our friends, in both positive and negative ways.

As much as we need to take responsibility for being better friends and for our part in relationship conflict and break-ups, quite a few factors surrounding friendship are out of our control. Social network embeddedness, where you and another person have many friends in common, for instance, is a big challenge. Let’s say someone crosses a line, but you don’t want to disturb the group, so you don’t declare that you no longer think of him as a friend. You pull back from him, but not so much that it will spark a direct confrontation, whereby people would then be forced to invite only one of you, but not both, to events. Sometimes we are yoked to bad friends.

The forces that dictate whom we stay close to and whom we let go can be mysterious even to ourselves. Aren’t there people you like very much whom you haven’t contacted in a long time? And others you don’t connect with as well whom you see more often? The former group might be pencilling you into their ‘bad friend’ column right now.

Dealing with bad friends, getting dumped by them, and feeling disappointed with them is a stressful part of life, and it can harm your body and mind. Yet having no friends at all is a far worse fate. Imagine a child’s desperation for a playmate, a teenager’s deep longing for someone who ‘gets’ her, or an adult’s realisation that there is no one with whom he can share a failure or even a success. Loneliness is as painful as extreme thirst or hunger. John Cacioppo, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, has found associations between loneliness and depression, obesity, alcoholism, cardiovascular problems, sleep dysfunction, high blood pressure, the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, cynical world views and suicidal thoughts. But if you have friend problems, you have friends – and that means you’re pretty lucky.

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Bad Friends (Essay Sample)

Table of Contents

Introduction

Ever experienced connecting so well with someone, only for it to turn out into a bad friendship?

We have all had our share of good friends and bad friends. If there is a toxic friendship you are currently struggling with, read this essay and see if these descriptions add up. For your sake and the sake of everyone around you, minimize the negative impact of this relationship by saying goodbye to it.

Writing a descriptive essay on good friends and bad friends, too? Browse through our website for essay examples, or reach out to us for essay writing services.

Essay on Bad Friends

A true friend is someone very difficult to find. This is because a friend needs to be someone you can always count on or rely on in times of trouble, just like they would rely on you if faced with the same situation.

It can be said that a good friend is someone who draws out positive emotions from you, such as affection and respect. However, not everyone you meet in life is a friend for keeps. There are also fake friends, most of whom would surround you and pretend to be good while secretly doing everything for personal gain.

Bad friends pretend to care for you. However, when you are not around, they will turn around and gossip about you with the intention of starting drama. It is thus important for one to differentiate a great friend from a bad one.

A true companion needs to be a person one can look up to. Traits such as trustworthiness, kindness, dependability, and loyalty are what makes a good friend. A good example of a rock-solid friendship is the one described by Mark Twain’s “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.”

In the story, one will see how Huck and Jim always stuck together, even though society looked down on Huck for befriending a slave. The firm foundation of their friendship superseded social norms. The situation would not have been the same if Huck was not a true friend.

A bad friend will always take advantage of your kindness. They will only want you to do things that they feel are fun, but you will not see or be able to contact them whenever you need them. They will only want to hang out with you when they feel that they can use you to their advantage.

A bad friend does not keep a secret. They will always be talking to someone at school or in the neighborhood, spilling all your personal thoughts. This means that they are hard to trust. They will manipulate the truths you tell them in order to make others dislike you. Usually, there is a personal motivation to cast you in a negative light. Others, because of jealousy, will do this with the intention to hurt you or someone else.

When your trust in them becomes a blind spot, you may not be aware of their hidden agenda. For example, when pressed with a problem, you might approach them for advice. However, they will knowingly give you bad advice. They may convince you that they support you by being nice to you, but you will begin to realize that the advice they are dispensing is not actually the best. In fact, following their counsel will cause a lot of problems for you, be it socially, academically, or professionally. 

In addition, fake friends will always take advantage of you in any situation. For example, if you win the lottery, he or she will make sure you have spent the money to the last dime without giving you advice on how to invest. They will only be there in good times, but run away from you when you need them.

It is always good to weigh out the positive and negative effects of the people you live or socialize with before you decide to call them friends. The above descriptions could be a good starting point in solidifying those filters for evaluation.

If you have had several encounters with not-so-true friends in the past, I hope you don’t lose hope just yet. Sometimes, it takes us a while to find people who we want to keep in our lives. On the other end of the spectrum, if you have old friends you have somehow drifted apart from and miss, don’t pass up the chance to make them an important part of your life again.

A secure and empowering friendship is always worth every effort you put into it. Just as it takes two people to make a relationship, it also takes the same two to break one. Be wary of bad influences around you that could peer-pressure you into jeopardizing the great friendships you are already blessed to have. Stick to your tribe in both good and tough times.

Good Friends And Bad Friends (Short Essay Sample)

One of the most popular topics people discuss is friendship. Whether it’s our amazing best friends who are there for us through thick or thin or that dreadfully bad influence we had to get rid of, it would be hard to run out of stories about the many friendships that have affected our lives.

Many of us have experienced a fake friendship. These are connections with people who have the ability to hurt us because most of the time, we don’t see them coming. In the beginning, they always seem like positive influences and at one point, we probably considered them true friends.

A fake friend always has an ulterior motive. They create a relationship with people who they believe they can benefit from. While sometimes the goal is not primarily to hurt you, their deceptive behaviors ultimately will.

What we hope for in life is to have more friendships we consider authentic, secure, and loving. These are the kind of relationships we want our life to be filled with. We don’t even have to have that one best friend; we can enjoy many friendships that enrich our stories in unique ways.

5 Signs Of A Bad Friendship

• They peer-pressure you into doing things you don’t want. Usually, when someone tries to convince you to do what they want, there is a hidden gain. Other times, the person lacks empathy and awareness of your needs and blindly feels that what they’re asking you to do is for your good.
• They make you work harder to please them. They turn you into a people-pleaser and your ultimate goal in the friendship is to make them happy, even at the cost of your own.
• They make you guess what they’re thinking all the time. They assume that you are their mind-reader who automatically knows the right things to say and do. A secure relationship is always honest about unmet needs.
• They talk a good talk, but don’t really come through when it counts. Most of their assurances turn out to be empty promises, and you always find yourself on the losing side.
• They’re obsessed with their social network. When being friends with you becomes disadvantageous to the clique they are trying to build, they distance themselves from you without remorse.

What Are The Consequences Of Choosing Bad Friends?

It’s quite simple. A fake friend will always influence you for the worse. If you discover that you are liking yourself a lot less since meeting someone, it probably means he or she is not a keeper. You need to cut your losses and move on from the toxic friendship.

Friendship Betrayal: Emotional Impacts by People We Trust

Here are examples of friendship betrayals and how they affect us..

Posted December 5, 2023 | Reviewed by Ray Parker

• People have expectations of friendship, including support, respect, loyalty, reciprocity, or connection.
• A sense of betrayal exists because the expectations of friendship are violated.
• When a friend betrays us, it can cause a range of negative emotions, including shock, loss, and grief.

At their best, friendships can be wonderful bonds, staving off feelings of loneliness and boredom and fostering a sense of belonging, care, and trust. At their worst, however, betrayal, exploitation, and manipulation by friends form constant threats to not only one's self-esteem but one's worldview, too.

Feeling betrayed, defined as "harmed by intentional actions of people we trust" (Rachman, 2010), can include a host of friendship behaviors. These actions can be wide and varied so long as they include an emotional impact. This might include:

• A friend is sharing your private conversation with others. This might create a deep fissure in what we may choose to continue saying to that friend and a sense that our trust has been broken. If the friend offers an explanation for why they've shared private information with others, it may offer some reprieve, but the sense that they may not be trustworthy may still linger. If they do not explain, this only furthers a sense of unease.
• A friend is not supporting an important milestone. Achieving important milestones, like work promotions, weddings, or reaching a specific goal, requires effort and dedication. A friend who does not show support can suggest that either they don't care enough about the person or the friendship or that they may not actually want the best for us, causing emotional distancing.
• A friend is refusing to recognize or apologize for an action that may have hurt you. When we have clarified to a friend that their words or actions have hurt us and they dismiss, deny, or refuse to recognize the impact of their actions, feeling invalidated, disregarded, and questioning the friendship are normal responses.
• A friend who only fosters your friendship when it's convenient for them. For instance, a friend who only wants to get together at a place close to them or requires you to pick them up might make you feel like your goodwill or generosity is being taken advantage of. While a friendship based on one-sided convenience may not be "intentional," the refusal of reciprocity can certainly cause the giving friend a sense of frustration and a perceived imbalance in actions or gestures of the friendship, in essence, asking themselves: "If they wanted to [fill in the blank], they would."
• A friend who refuses a reasonable request for support. A friend refusing a reasonable request for support may cause a sense of betraying expectations of friendship, particularly of reciprocity, if we may have helped a friend in similar ways.

There are four ways of showing social support, which may all bring about a similar sense of betrayal:

• Emotional: Showing care and empathy, like offering a shoulder to cry on, for instance.
• Instrumental: Offering tangible support, like giving a friend's resume for an open position at work or bringing groceries to a friend with a broken leg.
• Informational: Giving helpful advice when needed, like talking a friend through a problem they may be facing.
• Appraisal: Offering information that might help a friend positively self-evaluate, like encouraging them to apply for a job, even if they may not have all the qualifications.

Among all of these examples, a sense of betrayal exists because the expectations of friendship—support, respect, loyalty, shared moral standards, honesty, reciprocity, or genuine connection—are violated. The resulting feelings may be feelings of exploitation, manipulation, or worse yet, a sense of self-doubt (asking "why me"). In fact, betrayal trauma can also cause negative beliefs about our own sense of safety and trust on a wider scale.

According to Rachman's research, being betrayed can cause considerable distress, with wide-ranging effects including shock, loss and grief , morbid preoccupation, damaged self-esteem, self-doubting, and anger .

In effect, betrayal in friendships drains one's mental, emotional, and physical energy by searching for ways to navigate the newly arisen complexities of maintaining bonds with people who have not upheld the same definition of what it means to be a friend. Thus, we may not fundamentally trust if we want to maintain the friendship.

If, upon reading this, you find yourself evaluating a friendship, consider taking some space .

Rachman, S. (2010). Betrayal: A psychological analysis. Behaviour Research and Therapy , 48 (4), 304-311.

Mariana Bockarova, Ph.D., is a researcher at the University of Toronto.

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10 Signs of a Toxic Friend (and How to Break Up With Them the Right Way)

Ariane Resnick, CNC is a mental health writer, certified nutritionist, and wellness author who advocates for accessibility and inclusivity.

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

ROBERTO PERI / Image Source / Getty Images

How Can You Tell If a Friend Is Toxic?

Wait, could the toxic friend be me, how toxic friendships can impact our mental health, how to deal with toxic friends.

Friendships can be one of our greatest sources of joy in life, giving us outlets for our thoughts and feelings and making us feel seen and cared for. Quality friendships are important to our overall wellness, increasing our satisfaction in our lives.

On the other hand, friendships can also be a huge source of stress, particularly when what you give and what you get don't align. That impacts our health negatively, as much as great relationships do positively.

The word "toxic" is thrown around a lot these days, used as an insult whenever a person disapproves of someone else's behavior. But the truth is that some friendships are, indeed, toxic. "Toxic behaviors are ways of acting that demean or gaslight others and generally make them feel bad about themselves and your relationship," says Dr. Patrice Le Goy .

How can you tell if you're in a toxic friendship, and what should you do about it? Here are the signs to look out for.

If you can relate to the below, you might be friends with someone who could be considered toxic.

They Behave Selfishly

Le Goy explains that "toxic friends may only focus on themselves and their needs, and do not ask about you or ensure your needs are met." This is pretty straightforward: How much time in each hangout or call is spent on them, rather than you? Life in general should be 50:50 with friends, not always focused on one person or the other.

They're Critical of You

Do you feel like whenever you talk to your friend, they have something negative to say about you? This could be criticism of your behavior, your appearance, your relationship, your performance at work, your family, or any other element of your life. Friends are meant to uplift you, not cause you to worry you aren't good enough.

They're Too Competitive

Friendship isn't meant to have a winner! Rather, the point of friendship is support , and friends should want you to do well. If your friend behaves jealously when you tell them good news you've received, or if they constantly point out areas where they are doing better in life, those are toxic behaviors.

They Bring You Down

"You know you have a toxic friend if you notice that every time you interact with them, you feel worse than you did before," Le Goy says. This could happen because they're critical, or manipulative, or compete with you. Whatever the reason, if you walk away from your interactions feeling worse instead of better, there's a problem.

They Manipulate You

Friends shouldn't guilt one another into activities, and they should prioritize your needs as much as their own. You shouldn't leave a hangout feeling like you've done things you didn't want to just to please your friend. When you point out their manipulation to them, if they tell you you're wrong or crazy, they may be gaslighting you . That's a toxic trait too.

They Can't Be Trusted

Your secrets should be kept by your friends, and you shouldn't have to worry about that. "They may share your secrets or gossip about you with other friends. If you don’t feel that you can trust someone or that they want the best for you, they are likely a toxic friend," explains Le Goy.

The Drama Never Stops

Is there always something going on with your friend, particularly centered around how someone has wronged or is wronging them? Toxic friends take the drama with them wherever they go. This kind of self-centeredness could also be a sign of narcissism.

They're Insincere

Maybe your friend admits when they wrong you, but you don't feel like their apology is genuine . Or maybe when they do have something nice to say to you, your instincts tell you they don't really mean it. They might just be saying something nice because they want something from you. Pay attention to your friend's actions, not just their words.

They're Unreliable

You should be able to count on your friends. If someone flakes on you, isn't available when you need to talk about something going on in your life, and only seems to be available when they need you, you may be dealing with a toxic friend.

Obviously, everyone has their own stuff to worry about, but true friends are willing to sacrifice some of their own time and attention in your time of need, just as you would do for them.

They Isolate You

A toxic friend may try to create distance between you and the other relationships in your life. This can be done by criticizing your partner, spreading gossip about your friends, or even speaking negatively about your coworkers. A toxic friend will do this so that you become more reliant on them, and therefore more stuck in the friendship.

Of course, before we decide our friend is the problem we should be sure that's the case. "Generally, it is easier to notice the faults in other people, rather than recognizing areas we ourselves can improve," says Le Goy. Because of this, you should take a moment to reflect on whether your friend is toxic or you are—as difficult as that may be.

Le Goy explains that the most straightforward way to do that is to reflect on the other relationships in your life, outside of this one. "A good way to recognize if you are the problem or if it is the other person is to consider how healthy your other relationships are. If you generally have positive, trusting relationships and only major issues with one person, they are likely the issue" she suggests.

If you find that most of your friendships are brief in duration, end on bad terms, or remain on the surface level altogether, you may be the one exhibiting toxic behavior.

If you are being honest with yourself, and recognize that all of your relationships except this one are healthy and fulfilling—and you feel content with them—your first thought was probably right, and your friend is the toxic one, not you.

It should be no surprise that toxic friendships are bad for us and can cause us harm. "Toxic friendships can be so damaging to our mental health," says Le Goy. She notes that humans are hardwired to seek connection and close relationships with supporting, loving people.

She says that even once we know our friendship is toxic, we still might hang on to it. We might feel loyal to our friend because they were decent in the past, or perhaps they've manipulated us into thinking that no one will have our backs as well as they do—even if their version of that isn't as great as they make it sound.

Staying in a toxic friendship is the wrong choice, even if leaving it feels like it would be very challenging. "The constant bombardment of negativity in toxic friendships can lead to depression, anxiety, and doubts about our self-worth ," says Le Goy.

Fair warning: Dealing with a toxic friend is not likely to go smoothly. The fact that your friend has already exhibited significant enough toxic behavior for you to want to end the friendship means that they probably aren't going to take any actions well. Whether you try to confront them or straight up distance yourself from the relationship, they're unlikely to let this go quietly.

"You may hope to end the friendship in an open and honest way, but that is not always possible," says Le Goy. She explains, "for example, if your friend is a narcissist, they may be unwilling to accept that they are the problem and they may even try to charm their way back into your good graces. Other types of toxic friends may attempt to turn others against you."

Knowing that it may be hard doesn't mean you should remain inactive. You may want to end the relationship, or you may wish to give your friend a chance to make amends first. Whichever approach you take, be protective of your emotional wellness.

If you know that your friend doesn't always have your best interest at heart, be sure to keep that in mind as you move through this process.

Keep in Mind

Confronting a toxic friend about their behavior gives them an opportunity to improve, should you feel they deserve one, and cutting one out of your life makes space for your other, more loving friends to be closer to you. "You owe yourself the space to develop safe and healthy friendships more than you owe a toxic friend multiple opportunities to treat you poorly," says Le Goy.

What to do if your friend doesn't own up to their behavior? "If they don’t respect your decision to end the relationship, then you may have to accept that and move on without closure. Also, not respecting your decision might be the confirmation that you need that the friendship is toxic," she says.

Life is hard enough with great friends, let alone bad ones, and having friends who bring you down simply isn't worth your time or energy. With these tips, you can move forward to migrate away from the toxic behaviors of others, and have more room for friends who will treat you with kindness and love.

Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, Zaccarin S. Social relations and life satisfaction: the role of friends.  Genus . 2018;74(1):7.

Holt-Lunstad J, Uchino BN. Social ambivalence and disease (Sad): a theoretical model aimed at understanding the health implications of ambivalent relationships.  Perspect Psychol Sci . 2019;14(6):941-966.

By Ariane Resnick, CNC Ariane Resnick, CNC is a mental health writer, certified nutritionist, and wellness author who advocates for accessibility and inclusivity.

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• Friendship Essay

Essay on Friendship

There's an old saying, " A warrior's heroism is tested during wartime and friendship of a friend is tested during tough times ".

The heads of every family, when they tell bedtime stories to their grandchildren, bring references of the friendship of Radha and Krishna or maybe of Krishna and Sudama and make the little children of the household believe that friendship is the purest and truest form of all relationships. They try to make them understand that one should always be a friend like Krishna- always by another friend's side when they are in trouble.

Significance of Friendship Essay- Long Format

From the highest power of the country or this world to the lowest bums of the society, living in the streets, each and every human being depends upon friendship. Difference in castes, creed, religions, position, sex and age does not matter when it comes to friendship. As friendship is the only feeling that comes naturally. In this long life, it is very difficult to survive alone therefore, as Mark Twain said, "Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." Yes, every individual in this world needs a friend in his or her life, who will be there for them at every point of time, with whom it is easy to talk to, share feelings with and laugh their hearts out.

Strengthening Our Friendships

Sometimes, some friendships bear damages, due to economic disparity and other forms of differentiation. However, that does not mean that friendship can happen only between uniform status and like-minded people.

It begins with a simple "Hi!", wherever one is, maybe in the neighborhood, school, college, university or office. Then the relationship grows and deepens with true and sincere affection, care, love and respect towards each other. Whether it is friendship between siblings, spouses, parent-child or teacher-student, all relations will not last long, if there is no freedom to share each other's opinions, or honesty in it.

Sometimes, friendship gets affected because of ego and misunderstandings . However, it is the duty and responsibility of each and every friend, to try to strike a balance in friendship by trusting each other unconditionally and by trying to understand each other's problems and feelings and motivate and support each other, by forgetting all that had happened in the past, thereby strengthening the friendship.

Good and Bad friends

Friends can be both good and bad. However, it depends upon the individual, whom to choose. Good friends will always show the right direction, while friends who are not that good, will only care about themselves, and will have the tendency to misguide the other, thereby ruining their lives completely. In this world of pseudoism, coming across trustworthy, good and loyal friends is a daunting task. So, when one finds a true friend it is next to finding gold. Moreover, one should do everything to keep such a friend.

Short Essay on Friendship

There is an old proverb that states: "I n times of battle, a warrior's valour is tested, and a friend's friendship is tested in tough times. " Every family's head brings up the bond between Radha and Krishna and Krishna and Sudama when they read bedtime stories to their grandchildren. They make an effort to explain to children the importance of good friends, just like Krishna.

Every person in the world needs a buddy in their life—someone who will be there for them at all times. When it comes to friendship, differences in caste, creed, religion, status, sex, and age don't matter.

No relationship, whether it be a friendship between brothers, spouses, parents and children, or teachers and students, will endure if there is no honesty or freedom to express one another's thoughts.

Ego and misconceptions can occasionally hurt friendships . Each and every friend has a duty and responsibility to work to maintain a healthy balance in their friendship. Good friends will always point you in the correct direction, whereas bad friends just care about themselves and have a propensity to lead you astray. Finding a true buddy is like striking gold, in my opinion.

Thus, friendship is one of the greatest bonds and one of the most beautiful gifts one can ever ask for.  It is one which stays with a person forever. Fortunate are those who get friends they can trust, easily.

FAQs on Friendship Essay

1. Why do people tell stories of Radha and Krishna or Krishna and Sudama in every household?

When telling their grandchildren bedtime stories, the heads of every family bring up references to Radha and Krishna's and possibly Krishna and Sudama's friendship in order to instill in the young members of the family the notion that friendship is the most authentic and sincere of all relationships. They make an effort to convince them that a friend should always stand by another friend in times of need, just like Krishna did.

2. How can one strengthen their friendship when there are misunderstandings?

Ego and misunderstandings can occasionally hurt friendships. However, it is the duty and responsibility of each and every friend to attempt to maintain a balance in friendship by trusting one another without reservation, attempting to understand one another's issues and feelings, and encouraging and supporting one another while putting the past behind them. This will strengthen the friendship.

3. What are the differences between good and bad friends?

There are both good and bad friends. However, the decision of who to choose is up to the person. Good friends will always point you in the correct direction, whereas bad friends only care about themselves and have a propensity to lead you astray, wrecking your life altogether.