i am an introvert person essay

I Spent 35 Years Faking Being an Extrovert and I'm Exhausted

I'd been so convinced for so long that being an extrovert was  right , that I hadn't considered any other possibility.

Everything I knew about being a teenager and a young adult I learned through 90s television. On all of my favorite shows the popular girls—Kelly Kapowski on Saved by the Bell and Kelly Taylor on Beverly Hills 90210 —were the outgoing ones, the life of the party, the ones with lots of friends and lots of boyfriends.  Popular girls in the 90s were also, apparently, universally named Kelly. The quiet girls, Jesse Spano and Andrea Zuckerman respectively, were viewed as boring and less aspirational for a kid growing up in the Pennsylvania suburbs.

So, for a very long time, I aspired to be an extrovert. In high school I joined the right clubs and played the right sports. I joined the lacrosse team instead of playing tennis, even though I hated group sports. In college I joined the right sorority and got elected to the right positions in student government. I learned to make small talk like nobody's business and conjure a chameleon-like ability to fit in with any crowd. I became the life of the party, adept at convincing any group of people to leave a boring fete and go do karaoke at any time of the night.

But that wasn't me. I naturally wanted to stay home and curl up with a book or invite a couple of select friends over to watch Sex & the City , talk about whether I should adopt a cat, and just feel all the feelings—quietly.

There are two ugly truths to all of that faking it. One was that I usually had to drink a lot, way more than is healthy, to get myself in a place where the pit of anxiety over talking to strangers finally dissipated just for a couple of hours. For a long while I thought it was better to be drunk than be a wallflower. And in some situations it was.

For a long while I thought it was better to be drunk than be a wallflower.

And two, it left me exhausted. After a night of socializing I'd practically need two days off from talking to any human, and not because of my hangovers. (I didn't get hangovers in my twenties.) But after spending a night out socializing, my brain felt as though it were melting. I'd get intense migraines and muscle fatigue where my whole body felt like it was made of shattered glass.

The pressure to be an extrovert was worse when I was single.

"You'll never meet anyone if you stay home."

"Did you hear the story about the girl who didn't want to go to the party and then she went to the party and she met her husband?"

"No one wants to marry the girl who sits on the couch in her pajamas and binge watches Scandal."

Until recently I'd even inadvertently fooled my husband that I was an extrovert, likely a symptom of having fooled myself for so long.

"You love parties and hanging out with new people. You're so good at it. You're the most social person I've ever met."

I felt badly telling him it was all a clever front, basically a lie.

"I don't like it," I told him. "It actually physically makes me feel ill."

It took a while for him to wrap his head around that. But on a recent trip to Africa he finally got it. We were climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro for our honeymoon, which is an activity you have to do with a group of other humans unless you want to pay stupid, stupid amounts of money.

Our group was pretty chill. We were traveling with a tour operator called Intrepid that usually brought together cool people. Still, I dreaded it. I wasn't dreading the five days of physical activity, the freezing nights without any heat or way to bathe myself or the possibility of vomiting and passing out from the intense altitude at 19,000 feet. Nope, I was worried about having to talk to people all day long as we climbed the mountain.

Day one had me exhausted, and not from the climb, but from three group meals and near-constant small talk. On the second day Nick chatted with our guide, asked if we could hang back, have some private time together and walk slowly. It was totally fine and we rejoined the group for dinner.

"You don't have to command the conversation if you don't want to," he said. "You can just be quiet."

"They'll all think I'm rude," I whined.

"No," Nick said. "They'll think you're quiet and maybe a little shy and that's fine. It's a fine thing to be. I can do the talking."

It was my shrink who finally pinpointed the issue after I told her how exhausted I was during my recent book tour.

"I think crowds just tire you out. Maybe you're more of an introvert than you think you are."

I pondered it for months after that. I'd been so convinced for so long that being an extrovert was right , that I hadn't considered any other possibility. I thought it was black and white. Extrovert = outgoing. Introvert = shy and weird.

I'd been so convinced for so long that being an extrovert was right, that I hadn't considered any other possibility.

But being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy. In layman's terms it means exhausted by other humans.

Research has shown that being an introvert versus an extrovert has way more to do with how our brains recharge than with how we behave in social situations. People who are biologically more introverted get their recharge time from being alone. Being in crowds for long stretches of time drains their energy. Extroverts actually get energy from crowds and feel exhausted when they've spent too much time alone.

It had nothing to do with being outgoing and popular. It was biology. Plain and simple. I dug up this article  by Jonathan Rauch which was published in the Atlantic in 2003 about how to care for your inner introvert . Like me, Rauch denied his inner introvert for years, thinking that being an extrovert was just better. This is the bit that stuck with me:

Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring…. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses.

In her best-selling book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking , Susan Cain takes this farther, asserting not only the distinctive qualities of introverts, but also their advantages.

Over the past year, I've listened to my body and learned how to adapt to these small doses. I can't get out of every social situation and I don't want to. My job often demands that I go to conferences and schmooze or attend book readings where I am, as the author of those books, the center of attention. I can handle these too, as long as I give myself a break the next day, get a lot of rest the night before.

I thrive during intimate dinner parties with people I know and am comfortable with. I love spending time with friends and with my husband. I don't even mind doing things in small groups where you can enjoy meaningful time together. I now try to adapt my social schedule to those things as much as possible. And then I rest, sometimes for twice as long as I socialized.

There's a kitten cafe in downtown San Francisco called KitTea. At any given time they have at least ten adoptable kittens running around the cafe. You can lounge around for an hour and let cats climb all over you, which I have discovered, is a nice way to reboot.

It's too much to say that "hell is other people." My new reality, the one I'm getting pretty comfortable with is that hell is lots and lots of people for long periods of time and not enough minutes in the day to sit quietly with cats. 

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Introvert Essay Examples

As introverts can often be misunderstood or overlooked in society, writing an essay on introverts can be an interesting topic. Whether you are an introvert yourself or interested in exploring the topic, this article will provide some helpful insights and tips on how to write a compelling essay on introvert.

Firstly, start by brainstorming some ideas for your essay. Consider what you want to convey about introverts and what specific aspects you want to focus on. This could be discussing the challenges introverts face in social situations or highlighting the strengths of introverts in leadership positions. Having a clear direction for your essay will help you stay focused and organized.

Next, gather some research to support your ideas. This can help you build a strong argument and provide evidence for your claims. You can even use examples from literature or film that feature introverted characters, such as Holden Caulfield in “The Catcher in the Rye” or Bella Swan in “Twilight”.

When writing your essay, consider the tone and structure. An introvert essay can be written in a reflective, introspective style, or it can be more analytical and research-based. Whichever approach you choose, make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

If you need inspiration, there are plenty of introvert essay examples available online. Take note of the structure, tone, and arguments presented in these essays and use them as a guide for your own work.

When writing an introvert college essay, it can be helpful to relate your topic to your personal experiences. Discuss how being an introvert has affected your academic or social life and what strategies you have used to cope with any challenges. This can make your essay more relatable and engaging to readers.

In conclusion, by following these tips and utilizing the resources available, you can write a compelling and informative essay on this fascinating topic.

Compare and Contrast Analysis of Introverts and Extroverts

Introverts and extroverts are two distinct personality types that play a significant role in shaping how individuals interact with the world around them. Understanding the differences and similarities between these two types can provide valuable insights into human behavior and relationships. This compare and contrast...

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A Journey From Being An Introvert To Being An Extrovert

I was a nerd like of a child who always wanted to sit in his room and want to study. I was the topper right from the very beginning. I did not have any social life. I was very different from the students of my...

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Being Introvert, Not An Extrovert Is No Barrier To Entrepreneurship

Being an introvert or extrovert is no question on your vision and business abilities. With the right faith and self-confidence, introverts can achieve all that they can think of Collaborating with the right people and exploiting the technology in the right way can become the...

The Differences Between The Introvert And Extrovert

Have you ever wondered why some people keep to themselves or how others are super talkative? There are two kinds of people in the world. They are either introverts or extroverts. These two things can mainly be based on personality level, how your childhood was,...

Being an Introverted Leader and how it Affects Upward Mobility

A few years ago, I participated in a test designed to find out what type of personality I had in order to better identify the best way to engage with me in a classroom environment and see how I received information. I am an ISTJ...

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Reflections and Research of an Introvert Students

Foundational Knowledge and Learning I am considered a School Based Technology Specialist in one of the nation's largest school districts. I am much more that a Technology Specialist. I am a Testing Coordinator, who assigns and monitors district, state and national assessments to students. I...

Jobs Best Suitable for Intoverts

If you happen to be an introvert, you can still take advantage of the guidance provided in this report. You just won’t have to rely on it as frequently. If you’re the shy type, consider applying for the following type of jobs. If you don’t...

Media-Based Misconseptions about Introverts

Society is often influenced by trends set on social media and technology. Sometimes the media and entertainment overpower an individual’s own thoughts and ideas causing an impact on how society can view certain subject matter. Stereotypes in American society has taught the nation that extroversion...

Negative Stereotypes and Stigma against Introverts

When struck by the terms ‘introvert’ and ‘extrovert’ our brain instantly judge’s a person’s character traits. If introverted, we think of them as a nerd or socially awkward and if extroverted, we think of them as a party animal or narcissistic. However, these stereotypes are...

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Treatment Inequality at Work: Extroverts and Introverts

Characterized for extroversion and introversion is a common characteristic of flexible personality theories. The relations introversion and extroversion were spread by Carl Jung, agreeing to Jung there are two equally special insolences extroversion and introversion. The introvert is more relaxed with the inner world of...

Detection And Investigation Of Extreme Introvertedness

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Best topics on Introvert

1. Compare and Contrast Analysis of Introverts and Extroverts

2. A Journey From Being An Introvert To Being An Extrovert

3. Being Introvert, Not An Extrovert Is No Barrier To Entrepreneurship

4. The Differences Between The Introvert And Extrovert

5. Being an Introverted Leader and how it Affects Upward Mobility

6. Reflections and Research of an Introvert Students

7. Jobs Best Suitable for Intoverts

8. Media-Based Misconseptions about Introverts

9. Negative Stereotypes and Stigma against Introverts

10. Treatment Inequality at Work: Extroverts and Introverts

11. Detection And Investigation Of Extreme Introvertedness

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• Personal Experience
• Fear of Failure

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Caring for Your Introvert

The habits and needs of a little-understood group

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.

I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.

Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doing so, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes. Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.

What is introversion? In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."

How many people are introverts? I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."

Are introverts misunderstood? Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.

Are introverts oppressed? I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are really comfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who did rise to the top in politics—Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon—is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.

Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)

With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation .

Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"

Third, don't say anything else, either.

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January 24, 2012

The Power of Introverts: A Manifesto for Quiet Brilliance

Author Susan Cain explains the fallacy of "groupwork," and points to research showing that it can reduce creativity and productivity

By Gareth Cook

Do you enjoy having time to yourself, but always feel a little guilty about it? Then Susan Cain’s “ Quiet : The Power of Introverts ” is for you. It’s part book, part manifesto. We live in a nation that values its extroverts – the outgoing, the lovers of crowds – but not the quiet types who change the world. She recently answered questions from Mind Matters editor Gareth Cook .

Cook: This may be a stupid question, but how do you define an introvert? How can somebody tell whether they are truly introverted or extroverted? 

Cain: Not a stupid question at all! Introverts prefer quiet, minimally stimulating environments, while extroverts need higher levels of stimulation to feel their best. Stimulation comes in all forms – social stimulation, but also lights, noise, and so on. Introverts even salivate more than extroverts do if you place a drop of lemon juice on their tongues! So an introvert is more likely to enjoy a quiet glass of wine with a close friend than a loud, raucous party full of strangers.

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It’s also important to understand that introversion is different from shyness. Shyness is the fear of negative judgment, while introversion is simply the preference for less stimulation. Shyness is inherently uncomfortable; introversion is not. The traits do overlap, though psychologists debate to what degree.

Cook: You argue that our culture has an extroversion bias. Can you explain what you mean?

Cain: In our society, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to think that we value individuality, but mostly we admire the type of individual who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts. Introverts are to extroverts what American women were to men in the 1950s -- second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent.

In my book, I travel the country – from a Tony Robbins seminar to Harvard Business School to Rick Warren’s powerful Saddleback Church – shining a light on the bias against introversion. One of the most poignant moments was when an evangelical pastor I met at Saddleback confided his shame that “God is not pleased” with him because he likes spending time alone.

Cook: How does this cultural inclination affect introverts?

Cain: Many introverts feel there’s something wrong with them, and try to pass as extroverts. But whenever you try to pass as something you’re not, you lose a part of yourself along the way. You especially lose a sense of how to spend your time. Introverts are constantly going to parties and such when they’d really prefer to be home reading, studying, inventing, meditating, designing, thinking, cooking…or any number of other quiet and worthwhile activities.

According to the latest research, one third to one half of us are introverts – that’s one out of every two or three people you know. But you’d never guess that, right? That’s because introverts learn from an early age to act like pretend-extroverts.

Cook: Is this just a problem for introverts, or do you feel it hurts the country as a whole?

Cain: It’s never a good idea to organize society in a way that depletes the energy of half the population. We discovered this with women decades ago, and now it’s time to realize it with introverts.

This also leads to a lot of wrongheaded notions that affect introverts and extroverts alike. Here’s just one example: Most schools and workplaces now organize workers and students into groups, believing that creativity and productivity comes from a gregarious place. This is nonsense, of course. From Darwin to Picasso to Dr. Seuss, our greatest thinkers have often worked in solitude, and in my book I examine lots of research on the pitfalls of groupwork. 

Cook: Tell me more about these “pitfalls of groupwork.”

Cain: When you’re working in a group, it’s hard to know what you truly think. We’re such social animals  that we instinctively mimic others’ opinions, often without realizing we’re doing it. And when we do disagree consciously, we pay a psychic price. The Emory University neuroscientist Gregory Berns found that people who dissent from group wisdom show heightened activation in the amygdala, a small organ in the brain associated with the sting of social rejection. Berns calls this the "pain of independence."

Take the example of brainstorming sessions, which have been wildly popular in corporate America since the 1950s, when they were pioneered by a charismatic ad executive named Alex Osborn. Forty years of research shows that brainstorming in groups is a terrible way to produce creative ideas. The organizational psychologist Adrian Furnham puts it pretty bluntly: The "evidence from science suggests that business people must be insane to use brainstorming groups. If you have talented and motivated people, they should be encouraged to work alone when creativity or efficiency is the highest priority."

This is not to say that we should abolish groupwork. But we should use it a lot more judiciously than we do today.

Cook: What are some of the other misconceptions about introverts and extroverts?

Cain: One big one is the notion that introverts can’t be good leaders. According to groundbreaking new research by Adam Grant, a management professor at Wharton, introverted leaders sometimes deliver better outcomes than extroverts do. Introverts are more likely to let talented employees run with their ideas, rather than trying to put their own stamp on things. And they tend to be motivated not by ego or a desire for the spotlight, but by dedication to their larger goal. The ranks of transformative leaders in history illustrate this: Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Rosa Parks were all introverts, and so are many of today’s business leaders, from Douglas Conant of Campbell Soup to Larry Page at Google.

Cook: Is there any relationship between introversion and creativity?

Cain: Yes. An interesting line of research by the psychologists Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and Gregory Feist suggests that the most creative people in many fields are usually introverts. This is probably because introverts are comfortable spending time alone, and solitude is a crucial (and underrated) ingredient for creativity.

Cook: Can you give some other examples of surprising introversion research?

Cain: The most surprising and fascinating thing I learned is that there are “introverts” and “extroverts” throughout the animal kingdom – all the way down to the level of fruit flies! Evolutionary biologist David Sloan Wilson speculates that the two types evolved to use very different survival strategies. Animal “introverts” stick to the sidelines and survive when predators come calling. Animal “extroverts” roam and explore, so they do better when food is scarce. The same is true (analogously speaking) of humans.

Cook: Are you an introvert?

Cain: Yes. People sometimes seem surprised when I say this, because I’m a pretty friendly person. This is one of the greatest misconceptions about introversion. We are not anti-social; we’re differently social. I can’t live without my family and close friends, but I also crave solitude. I feel incredibly lucky that my work as a writer affords me hours a day alone with my laptop. I also have a lot of other introvert characteristics, like thinking before I speak, disliking conflict, and concentrating easily.

Introversion has its annoying qualities, too, of course. For example, I’ve never given a speech without being terrified first, even though I’ve given many. (Some introverts are perfectly comfortable with public speaking, but stage fright afflicts us in disproportionate numbers.)

But I also believe that introversion is my greatest strength. I have such a strong inner life that I’m never bored and only occasionally lonely. No matter what mayhem is happening around me, I know I can always turn inward.

In our culture, snails are not considered valiant animals – we are constantly exhorting people to “come out of their shells” – but there’s a lot to be said for taking your home with you wherever you go.

Are you a scientist who specializes in neuroscience, cognitive science, or psychology? And have you read a recent peer-reviewed paper that you would like to write about? Please send suggestions to Mind Matters editor Gareth Cook, a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist at the Boston Globe. He can be reached at garethideas AT gmail.com or Twitter @garethideas .

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8 Signs You Might Be an Introvert

Do you get more energy from being by yourself or with others?

Verywell / Josh Seong 

Are There Different Types of Introverts?

Are you born introverted, or is it something you become over time.

• Introversion vs. Shyness
• Introversion vs. Depression

Misconceptions About Introverts

Can you stop being an introvert.

• Introverts, Extroverts, and Ambiverts: We're All Great

While we all need some me-time every now and then, that solitude can be make or break for some of us. Introverts typically get more energy and recharge by spending more time alone than with others. By definition, introversion is a personality trait characterized by a focus on internal feelings rather than on external sources of stimulation.

That being said, introverts and extroverts are often viewed in terms of two extreme opposites, but the truth is that most people land somewhere in the middle.

While introverts make up an estimated 25% to 40% of the population, there are still many misconceptions about this personality type . It is also important to note that being an introvert does not mean that you are socially anxious or shy.

If you're not sure whether you're an introvert, an extrovert, or an ambivert, taking an introvert vs. extrovert test may help you get a better idea of which category suits your personality. Otherwise, read on to get a deeper understanding of what it means to have a more introverted personality.

8 Signs You're an Introvert

What is an introvert personality.

We might hear people use the words withdrawn or introspective as synonyms for introvert. Introverts tend to be more quiet, reserved, and introspective. Extroverts gain energy from social interaction, while introverts expend energy in social situations. After attending a party or spending time with a large group of people, introverts often feel a need to "recharge" by spending time alone.

Introversion is generally viewed as existing as part of a continuum along with  extroversion . Introversion indicates one end of the scale, while extroversion represents the other end.

The terms introversion and extroversion (also often spelled extraversion) were popularized through the work of  Carl Jung  and later became central parts of other prominent theories, including the  Big 5 theory  of personality.

The introversion-extroversion dimension is also one of the four areas identified by the  Myers-Briggs Type Indicator  (MBTI). According to many theories of personality, everyone has some degree of both introversion and extroversion. However, people often tend to lean one way or the other.

What Are the Signs of an Introvert?

The following are just a few of the signs that you (or someone you know) might be an introvert.

1. Being Around Lots of People Drains Your Energy

Do you ever feel exhausted after spending time with a lot of people? After a day interacting with others, do you often need to retreat to a quiet place and have an extended amount of time to yourself? One of the major characteristics of this personality type is that introverts have to  expend  energy in social situations, unlike extroverts who  gain  energy from such interactions.

That doesn't mean that introverts avoid social interactions altogether. Many introverts actually enjoy spending time around others, but they tend to prefer the company of close friends.

While an extrovert might go to a party with the goal to meet new people, an introvert intends to spend time talking to good friends.

2. You Enjoy Solitude

As an introvert, your idea of a good time is a quiet afternoon to yourself to enjoy your hobbies and interests. Activities like time alone with a good book, a peaceful nature walk, or watching your favorite television program help you feel recharged and energized.

This does not mean that introverts want to be alone all the time. Many introverts love spending time with friends and interacting with familiar people in social situations. The key thing to remember is that after a long day of social activity, an introvert will probably want to retreat to a quiet place to think, reflect, and recharge.

If having a few hours to be alone sounds like your idea of a good time, you just might be an introvert.

3. You Have a Small Group of Close Friends

One common misconception about introverts is that they don't like people. While introverts typically do not enjoy a great deal of socializing, they do enjoy having a small group of friends with whom they are particularly close.

Instead of having a large social circle of people they know only on a superficial level, introverts prefer to stick to deep, long-lasting relationships marked by a great deal of closeness and intimacy.

Of the many strengths of introverts, one is that they tend to create profound and significant relationships with those closest to them. They also prefer to interact with people on a one-on-one basis rather than in a large group setting.

If your social circle tends to be small but very close, there's a pretty good chance you are an introvert.

While extroverts generally have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, introverts typically choose their friends much more carefully.

4. People May Find It Difficult to Get to Know You

Introverts are often described as quiet, reserved, and mellow, and are sometimes mistaken for being shy.

While some introverts certainly are shy, people should not mistake an introvert's reserve for timidity. In many cases, people with this personality type simply prefer to choose their words carefully and not waste time or energy on needless chit-chat.

If you are the quiet type and a bit reserved, you probably are an introvert.

5. Too Much Stimulation Leaves You Feeling Distracted

When introverts have to spend time in activities or environments that are very hectic, they can end up feeling unfocused and overwhelmed. Extroverts, on the other hand, tend to thrive in situations where there is a lot of activity and few chances of becoming bored.

Researchers have found that introverts tend to be more easily distracted than extroverts, which is part of the reason why introverts tend to prefer a quieter, less harried setting.

If you tend to feel overwhelmed in busy social situations, you may be an introvert.

6. You Are Very Self-Aware

Because introverts tend to be inward-turning, they also spend a great deal of time examining their own internal experiences. If you feel like you have good knowledge and insight into yourself, your motivations, and your feelings, you might be more of an introvert.

Introverts tend to enjoy thinking about and examining things in their own minds. Self-awareness and self-understanding is important to introverts, so they often devote a great deal of time to learning more about themselves.

If you feel that you are self-aware and enjoy gaining deep knowledge about yourself, then you might be more of an introvert.

Self-awareness is one of the many strengths of introverts. They tend to explore hobbies they enjoy, think about their lives, and read books that explore themes and topics that are important to them.

7. You Like to Learn by Watching

Where extroverts tend to prefer to jump right in and learn through hands-on experience, introverts typically prefer learning through observation . Extroverts learn through trial and error, while introverts prefer to observe before attempting something new.

Introverts like to watch others perform a task, often repeatedly, until they feel that they can replicate the actions on their own. When introverts do learn from personal experience, they prefer to practice somewhere private where they can build their skills and abilities without having to perform for an audience.

If you like to learn more by watching rather than doing, there is a chance that you have a more introverted personality.

8. You Are Drawn to Jobs That Involve Independence

As you might imagine, jobs that require a great deal of social interaction usually hold little appeal to people high in introversion. On the other hand, careers that involve working independently are often a great choice for introverts. For example, an introvert might enjoy working as a writer, accountant, computer programmer, graphic designer, pharmacist, or artist.

While you might picture an introvert as a shy wallflower who prefers to stay home alone instead of socializing, introverts come in many forms with a wide variety of characteristics. The types of introverts include:

• Social introverts : This type of introvert prefers small vs. large groups of people. They prefer a quiet night at home over a night out.
• Thinking introverts : Introverts in this category tend to spend a lot of time thinking. They are introspective and creative.
• Anxious introverts : Anxious introverts often feel unsettled or nervous around people during social interactions.
• Inhibited introverts : This type of introvert tends to overthink, spending a significant amount of time considering a decision before doing anything.

You might find, however, that many introverts have a blend of qualities from among the four types. Many introverts also display qualities that you wouldn't think are typical of their personality type.

For instance, there are plenty of introverts who enjoy socializing. You might even be surprised to learn that many people who you think of as "social butterflies" might actually be quite introverted.

According to clinical psychologist Monica Johnson, PsyD, whether introversion is an innate characteristic or shaped by environmental factors is complex. Scientific research suggests that personality traits, including introversion and extraversion, are partially inherited.  For example, studies of twins have shown that genetics can play a significant role in determining where we fall on the introversion-extraversion spectrum. However, the environment also plays a significant role in shaping these inborn tendencies.

The way a child is raised, the experiences they have, and the social interactions they encounter can significantly influence the extent of their introversion.

"Essentially, while the tendency towards introversion or extroversion is genetically predisposed, environmental factors and personal experiences can modify how these traits are expressed and experienced by the individuals," adds Johnson.

How your body's physiology responds to the outside environment also plays a critical role in determining your level of extroversion and introversion.

On a physiological level, a network of neurons located in the brainstem known as the reticular activating system (RAS) regulates arousal levels, including wakefulness and transitions between sleeping and waking.

The RAS also plays a role in controlling how much information you take in while you are awake. When confronted by potential threats in the environment, the RAS increases arousal levels so you can be alert and ready to deal with danger.

Each person has a basic set point in terms of arousal level. Some people tend to naturally have a much higher set point, while others have a much lower set point. The psychologist Hans Eysenck suggested that these arousal levels could be thought of as a continuum. According to his arousal theory of extroversion:

• 15% of people have a minimal set point, meaning they naturally have low arousal levels.
• 15% of people have a high setpoint, meaning they naturally tend to be more aroused.
• 70% of people lie somewhere in the middle of the continuum.

According to Eysenck's theory, introverts have naturally high levels of arousal . Because of these high arousal levels, introverts tend to seek activities and environments where they can escape from overstimulation. Alone time gives them the opportunity to process and reflect on what they have learned.

Am I Introverted or Just Shy?

It is important to note that introversion does not necessarily equal shyness. In The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal , Louis Schmidt and Arnold Buss write, "Sociability refers to the motive, strong or weak, of wanting to be with others, whereas shyness refers to behavior when with others, inhibited or uninhibited, as well as feelings of tension and discomfort."

Shyness indicates a fear of people or social situations. Introverts, on the other hand, simply prefer not to spend lots of time interacting with other people.

Introverts do appreciate being around people with whom they are close. They find engaging in "small talk" tedious, but do enjoy having deep, meaningful conversations. Introverts also tend to think before speaking. They want to have a full understanding of a concept before they voice an opinion or try to offer an explanation.

Am I Introverted or Actually Depressed?

If you find yourself wondering, Am I an introvert or depressed? , it's important to know that anyone can experience depression, whether they are an introvert or extrovert.

If you are withdrawing from social situations or activities to the point where you are feeling sad, anxious, depressed, or worried, this may be a sign of depression—regardless of your personality type.

Some studies suggest that introversion may increase the risk of developing loneliness, depression, and anxiety. If you are experiencing these or any other mental health concerns, be sure to talk to a doctor or mental health professional.

Similarly, if you're wondering, Am I an introvert or antisocial? , talking to a mental health professional can help you reach an answer. The main difference between being an introvert and being antisocial is that introverts are socially engaged (in a way that feels comfortable to them) whereas those who are antisocial prefer not to be.

People who are antisocial often find it difficult to live in a society where they are expected to have even small social interactions or behave in a socially acceptable way. If you're struggling with this, talking to a mental health professional can also help you determine whether your antisocial behavior is linked to a related mental health condition.

In an article  in  Atlantic Monthly , author Jonathan Rauch took on some of the common myths and misconceptions about introverts. While introverts are often labeled as shy, aloof, and arrogant, Rauch suggests that these perceptions result from the failure of extroverts to understand how introverts function.

"Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion," Rauch suggests. "They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood."

According to estimates, extroverts outnumber introverts by about 3 to 1. Introverts often find that other people try to change them or even suggest something is wrong with them.

While introverts make up a smaller portion of the population, there is no right or wrong personality type. Instead, both introverts and extroverts should strive to understand each other's differences and similarities.

The short answer is that you can't stop being an introvert or flip a switch to completely change the introverted aspects of your personality. However, if you find that you're frustrated with being an introvert, there are things you can do.

For instance, if you find you're spending too much time alone, you might explore how you can socialize more in a way that feels good to you. If you're burning out too much from social interactions, you might learn self-care strategies that help you relax and recover.

If you're struggling with being an introvert, it's OK to ask for help. In fact, talking to a mental health professional can be an excellent step to learn more about introversion.

For instance, during a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) session, a therapist can teach you healthy coping mechanisms for when you experience difficult emotions. They can also advise you on how to reframe negative thought patterns that might be holding you back.

Introverts, Extroverts, and Ambiverts: We're All Great

If you identify with some characteristics of introversion and some characteristics of extroversion, then there is a pretty good chance that you are an ambivert: one of the 70% of people who fall somewhere in the middle. Ambiverts tend to enjoy both spending time with others and spending time alone, depending on the situation and their needs at the moment.

Try Our Extrovert Introvert Quiz

If you're wondering where on the scale of introversion and extroversion you fall, our fast and free quiz can help you figure it out!

When deciding whether you're an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, remember that one type isn't better than the other. Each tendency can have benefits and drawbacks depending on the situation. By better understanding your personality, however, you can learn how to play to your strengths.

In one study of adult introverts, those who had strong social relationships and emotional regulation skills were found to be happier than those who did not have those skills. Make the most of your strengths by nurturing your close relationships in order to foster strong social connections and utilize your tendency to look inward in order to develop solid emotional understanding.

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By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

‘Am I an Introvert?’ 30 Signs of an Introvert Personality

• Post author: Anna LeMind, B.A.
• Post published: June 14, 2020
• Reading time: 18 mins read
• Post category: Introvert's World / Personality

Am I an introvert ?

I wish I had asked myself this question when I was a teenager. But back then, I had no idea what an introvert is. I was convinced that something was wrong with me. I thought that my difficulties with social interaction were due to some flaws in my personality.

Are you feeling the same way? In this case, I’m here to help you figure out what an introvert is and whether you are one . And most importantly, I’m here to assure you that there is nothing wrong with you.

What Is an Introvert? The Definition

An introvert is a person who gains energy from solitary activities and gives it away during social interaction . For this reason, we may find too much communication with other people draining.

‘Am I an Introvert?’ 30 Unmistakable Signs That You Have an Introvert Personality

Below are the signs to help you understand whether you are an introvert or not. How many can you relate to?

1. You are rarely bored alone

One of the key signs that you are an introvert is that you enjoy your own company . You always find something to fill your time with and rarely feel bored when being on your own. Thus, you have no problem to stay alone at home on a Friday night while everyone else is going out.

2. You keep your social circle small but high quality

An introvert doesn’t feel the need to have multiple connections here and there. If you are one, then you are most likely to have just a couple of good, loyal friends . An introvert’s definition of a friend is someone who knows the real you and there is such a level of trust between you that you can share the most intimate things with each other.

Otherwise, being friends with a person just doesn’t make sense. The depth of communication is what counts for an introvert personality. If you can’t discuss meaningful topics or confide something personal in someone, you don’t consider them a friend and won’t have them in your social circle.

3. You prefer one-to-one communication

It’s a myth that introverts don’t like talking to other people. However, we prefer communication in more intimate settings , such as going for a coffee with our best friend or a movie night with our family. So if you ask yourself, Am I an introvert ? you know that you are one if you enjoy one-to-one communication most of all. It allows you to build a genuine connection with another person.

4. You prefer small groups of people over big ones

I always say that the magic of communication gets lost in big groups. At least, for me, it’s true, as well as for many other introverts.

Big groups may sound like a lot of fun for some people, but for an introvert, it’s just a loud gathering that lacks essence . Think about it. Can you really have a deep conversation on a personal topic in a big group? Because this is the type of communication introverts seek. Large gatherings are good for joking around and having fun, but they don’t give you the opportunity to get to know other people on a deep level .

5. You are open and easygoing with your family and friends but quiet and reserved with people you don’t know well

My family members often say, “ How can’t you talk to other people, you are so sociable !” However, the truth is that I am sociable only with the people I love and trust.

If you are an introvert, you will never be the soul of the company when surrounded by strangers but can be fun and talkative in the circle of your closest friends. And this is not because introverts are hypocrites. We simply have a different level of psychological comfort around different people.

6. You need some alone time to recharge your emotional batteries after a social event

This is one of the key signs of an introvert personality . If you just had a good deal of social interaction, you will feel emotionally, mentally, and maybe even physically tired. Even if you are enjoying yourself at a social event, at some point, you just feel that you’ve had enough of it and it’s time to withdraw. You go home, take a bath, and spend time reading your favorite book or just relaxing in your bed, not seeing or talking to anyone. And it feels heavenly. This is how you recharge.

7. You hate small talk

This is probably one of the most misunderstood traits of introverts , which makes other people think that we are snobby or uninterested in them. There is nothing worse for an introvert than the necessity to have small talk. You hate to ask and to be asked questions such as ‘ How are you ?’ and discuss meaningless topics like how the weather is or what’s on TV today.

Introverts value deep communication more than anything else (it is probably the only type of communication that doesn’t drain us). For this reason, we find having pointless conversations immensely exhausting.

8. You hate to be in the spotlight

Most people enjoy the attention, many even crave it, but the quiet ones don’t. A sure sign of being an introvert is that you don’t like to be praised or criticized in front of others or have everyone’s attention in any other way. Activities like public speaking or giving a performance challenge your self-esteem and fuel your inner critic and self-doubt.

Why don’t introverts like praise and attention ? The reason is that internal rewards are much more important for us than external ones. So if you did your job well, you want to feel that your work has made a difference and you are satisfied with the result in the first place. Gaining approval and praise of others is secondary.

9. You need to spend some time on your own every day to feel strong and energized

If you are wondering, ‘ Am I an introvert ?’ this is one of the most telltale signs that you are one. When you have to do without alone time for a few days, you begin to feel irritated and tired for no reason. Solitude is among the most basic emotional needs of an introvert personality . This is how we recharge and put our thoughts in order. Leave an introvert without alone time , and their mental health will suffer.

10. Before making a decision or having a difficult conversation, you need some time to think it over

More often than not, introverts are no quick thinkers . Our brains require plenty of time and thinking before we can make any decision (sometimes, even the most trivial one). We don’t like spontaneity and prefer to be prepared for anything that comes our way. This is another unmistakable sign of being an introvert. For example, if you are going to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone, you need to think in advance how you are going to approach it and what exactly you are going to say.

11. You analyze a lot

Introverts feel the need to analyze everything and everyone they come in contact with. We need time to process things that happen in our lives, and staying alone and doing some in-depth analysis is the only way we can make sense of them. As an introvert, you often analyze your past too. Oftentimes, you think up a great comeback or argument long after the conversation is over… There is even a term for it – it’s called “ l’esprit de l’escalier ”.

In general, you are very self-aware and often self-critical . You tend to overanalyze your behaviors, words, and actions. Sometimes you can be harsh on yourself if you believe you did something wrong.

12. You have a rich inner life

Even when an introvert is not engaged in any particular activity, be sure that he or she is busy living in their head. As an introvert, you can spend hours thinking about things that happened long ago (or could have happened) or imagining the fantasy world you read about in a book. This is one of the reasons why you are unlikely to find yourself bored while being alone.

13. Your inner monologue is big-mouthed and confident, but when you try to communicate your ideas to other people, they sound far less powerful than in your head

Just like an introvert’s inner life is rich, so is their inner monologue. The flow of your thoughts rarely stops . Sometimes you lie in your bed at night and have whole debates in your head, full of sophisticated words and indisputable arguments. But then the day comes and you try to share your ideas with the world and put your night’s thoughts into words. Guess what? The result is never as powerful and exciting as that dialogue in your head.

14. You feel much more confident in written communication

Introverts are far more skillful in writing than they are in speaking. It’s no coincidence that most writers and poets have an introvert personality. Your rich inner world and ability to work consistently and patiently makes you good at expressing yourself in written communication . As you need to carefully think over everything you have to say, writing, unlike speaking, gives you this privilege.

15. You don’t talk for the sake of talking but only express your opinion when you have something meaningful to say

The quiet ones don’t talk much, but when they do, be sure that they have something meaningful to say. An introvert will not talk nonsense or say obvious things just to fill the silence with pointless words. A sure sign that you are an introvert is that you weigh every word that comes out of your mouth. You prefer to stay quiet when you have doubts or lack knowledge about a topic.

16. You can’t stand forced communication

Forced communication is an even tougher challenge for an introvert than small talk . And to be honest, the two often equal each other. Family reunions with nosy relatives asking embarrassing personal questions or an awkward conversation with a neighbor in the elevator are the definition of an introvert’s nightmare .

A telltale sign that you are an introvert is that you are quite good at understanding who you vibe with . So forcing yourself to interact with people you don’t like or have nothing in common with is incredibly draining. For this reason, you will avoid such situations at any cost.

17. You work more efficiently alone than in a team

Teamwork is not among introverts’ strongest assets. You are much more efficient when you work alone and are given a certain degree of independence . Constant supervision or interaction with others distracts and irritates you, significantly damaging your productivity. Leave an introvert alone and you will see the results of their mind working in all its glory.

18. You are not a fan of talking on the phone

Every introvert on the planet is endlessly grateful for modern inventions like social media platforms and texting. This is because we don’t like talking on the phone , especially when we need to call strangers.

As we have already said above, introverts are much more efficient in written communication. We also tend to rely on non-verbal communication and seeing another person’s body language and facial expressions is important for us.

19. You are more likely to feel lonely at a party than at home

This will sound weird to most people, but an introvert is more likely to feel lonely when being surrounded by others than when being alone. A genuine and deep connection is the only way an introvert can feel like home with other people. When you feel disconnected to those around you or find yourself attending a big social event full of strangers, you inevitably feel lonely and regret not staying at home.

20. Personal space means a lot to you

An unmistakable sign of an introvert personality is that you are quite a private person. You have a strong personal space and don’t appreciate when others pry into your life and disturb your privacy. Intrusive and overly curious people make you feel painfully awkward.

The same is true about your approach to other people’s personal space as well. You respect it and never become nosy, saying uncomfortable things or asking too personal questions. The last thing an introvert wants is to disturb someone’s peace.

21. You struggle with facing conflict

Most introverts tend to avoid conflict . This is not because we are afraid to be confronted or seek to avoid responsibility. We find any type of intensity extremely draining and are not good at handling confrontation.

So if you are an introvert, you can’t stand yelling and intense, difficult conversations of any kind. In case of open conflict, you are more likely to withdraw and take your time to think it over before you can deal with it.

22. Your home is your sacred space of safety and comfort

There is nothing more important for an introvert than their home. It’s your sacred place of power where you feel the safest and the most comfortable . This is your quiet little kingdom where we can be yourself, relax, and recharge. You don’t want anyone to disturb this peace and for this reason, you are not a fan of holding dinners or parties in your house.

23. If you don’t like someone, you can’t fake it

If you know that someone is inauthentic, conceited, or shady, you can’t pretend to like them. You can’t just fake a smile and say a shallow pleasantry. You wonder how some people can be so hypocrite and say things they don’t mean for the sake of being polite or taking advantage of someone. It’s funny that you may struggle to show people that you like them even when you do, so how could you possibly fake it?

24. You need some time to get used to new environments and people

Introverts prefer familiar environments and find any major changes stressful. Thus, if you just got a new job, moved to a new house, or started a new relationship, you will need some time to get used to it. While this is true for everyone to some extent, introverts may need a little more time than other personality types.

25. You are a good listener

We have discussed that introverts can’t stand small talk. But at the same time, we are great listeners when you want to have a deeper conversation or share your personal experiences and problems with us. We are interested in other people and want to know everything about your personality, dreams, and aspirations.

26. You are good at reading people

Even though introverts are more focused on their thoughts than on the surrounding environment, we tend to be very intuitive and notice tiny nuances of people’s behaviors. People-watching is among introverts’ hobbies . We intuitively read body language cues in those around us and can understand when someone is being inauthentic.

27. You struggle to talk about your needs and feelings

Yes, introverts never fake their feelings, but at the same time, we struggle to open our hearts to other people. And it goes further than difficulties with love confessions.

An unmistakable sign that you are an introvert is that you  find it difficult to express your discontent as well. Conversations that require you to call out another person for something that bothers you are incredibly difficult and draining. As a result, you will probably just stay quiet and just withdraw.

28. You feel the most tired around nosy, talkative, or too intense personalities

There are certain types of people that drain an introvert faster than anyone else. First of all, these are intrusive people who have no idea about your personal boundaries and snoop into your life.

Then, there are those who just can’t stop talking – spend 20 minutes with such a person and you will feel dead tired. Finally, anyone who is too intense (such as people who laugh loudly all the time or high conflict personalities) can be overly exhausting for an introvert too.

29. You prefer planning over spontaneity

A sure sign of having an introvert personality is that you don’t like spontaneous situations like surprise parties or uninvited guests. You want to be prepared for any kind of social interaction in advance. This gives you a sense of control and security.

You want to have the upper hand and know what to expect. When your friend just shows up at your door unannounced or, even worse, brings extra guests with them, you feel like your quiet little world is threatened.

30. You are more likely to get excited with canceled plans than with a social event itself

This is another one of the introvert behaviors that seem utterly weird to other people. When you accept someone’s invitation to a social gathering , you regret it way too quickly. After half an hour or so, you start to think that it was a mistake and you should have stayed at home.

On the contrary, when your social plans get canceled, you feel incredible relief. You know that you won’t have to force yourself into social interaction and can just have a nice quiet evening at home.

I Am an Introvert and There’s Nothing Wrong with It. Are You One Too?

Am I an introvert ? Yes, I am. Is there anything wrong with me? No, there isn’t. And if you identify with the above, the same is true about you .

Introverts’ traits and behaviors may sometimes look weird and can be easily misunderstood by other people, but this is not to say that this type of personality is flawed. It’s just different. In fact, there are neurological differences in extroverts and introverts. You can read about it in this article to better understand how the introverted brain works .

If you relate to the above signs, you are certainly an introvert. No matter how you feel about it, be sure that your personality has many positive qualities and hidden powers. All it takes is to embrace your introverted nature and stop forcing yourself to become an extrovert – which is someone you are not and will never be.

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I love this article this is me and I like who I am. I often wondered when I was a teenager why I could not make friends and was told I was stuck up. Not true, but people will believe what they want.

I agree with you about this article. It certainly has its facts right. I have two other faults which do not help…….shyness and constant blushing. How about you? Began in high school and has ruined my life, (in my seventies now) Charlotte

WOW! I feel relieved….i really thought there was something wrong with me. Now i know i can be who i am an introvert….what a sigh of relief.

this is me im an introvert since birth i cant stand yelling screaming and crying babies whining and i hate talkaive people

All my early life,growing up in Canterbury I knew something was not right. My two brothers and sis. we’re already grown away.Could I be a mishap? Even at school and after, playing, I was so lonely.Mother wasn’t at home and I ran over the park,acres and acres of military land.Lonely ? I didn’t associate loneliness at the time,there was nothing else? I ended up with a girl who stole,it came to life,but I always felt isolated and after decided I had to be a ‘ good’ person.Being hauled in front of the chief of police,so embarrassed that was it!! I was warned and told it would be removed from my record of I behaved ! I hope it did? Never again in wrong company! I’ve always been isolated! It’s a lonely life but never really bothered me! I’m not lonely,and enjoy what I have.I have five youngsters now well adults, two lovely families.My third daughter is SO like me. Perhaps I need to send her your book? She is another introvert,and maybe my eldest too,yes! She’s a loner. Making friends is so hard,but I have maybe two who I call close friends,one being the elder daughter. Have I said too much. ?? Life can be so hard,I’ve wondered through living why I am different,now I know!! Constantly through years I have really felt different from others.This year being invited to an evening ‘ do’ with neighbours, I don’t fit in,and do not get re-invited. I have nothing to say,usually.! When new people move in I always welcome them then don’t do anything else,hoping to make a connection,but no!

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Introversion

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Introversion is a basic personality style characterized by a preference for the inner life of the mind over the outer world of other people. One of the Big Five dimensions that define all personalities, introversion sits on a continuum at the opposite end of which is extroversion . Compared to extroverts, introverts enjoy subdued and solitary experiences.

Introverts do not fear or dislike others, and they are neither shy nor plagued by loneliness . A crowded cocktail party may be torture for introverts, but they enjoy one-on-one engagement in calm environments, which is more suited to the make-up of their nervous system . Evidence suggests that, unlike with extroverts, the brains of introverts do not react strongly to viewing novel human faces; in such situations they produce less dopamine , a neurotransmitter associated with reward.

• Identifying the Introvert
• How Introversion Differs From Shyness

The term introversion was popularized by Carl Jung and suggests an inwards orientation to one’s own mental life rather than the outward orientation of extroverts to social life . Introverts gain energy from reflection and lose energy in social gatherings. Most people are neither purely introverted nor purely extroverted but display features of both—they are so-called ambiverts. Almost all people, for example, need occasional solitude to replenish their energy.

Cultures differ in how they value certain personality traits, and America likes its extroverts ; it rewards assertiveness and encourages people to speak up. Studies suggest that there are just as many introverts as extroverts, but they are less visible and certainly less noisy. First and foremost, introverts seek out and enjoy opportunities for reflection and solitude; they think better by themselves. They are drained by too much social interaction and are the first to leave a party. Even as children , they prefer to observe first and act later.

One clue that introverts are happy comes from studies showing that they react differently to various stimuli than do extroverts. For example, introverts are more responsive to internally generated brain activity, from planning ahead to remembering the past. They are content with their own thoughts and don’t need a steady stream of novelty and emotional arousal to experience pleasure; they prefer the quiet of calm to the high of happiness .

Introversion appears to be a stable facet of personality influenced, like all personality traits, by genetics as well as environmental factors. Neuroimaging studies show different patterns of brain activation in introverts and extroverts, suggesting basic biological differences in the wiring of brain circuits. Nevertheless, studies show that introverts can learn to act in a more extroverted manner if they make a plan to change specific behaviors —say, make an effort to initiate a conversation with an acquaintance. Some evidence suggests that doing so increases a sense of well-being among introverts.

Introversion is often mistaken for shyness because both are characterized by limited social interaction, but the resemblance stops there. Those who are shy typically want to engage with others but are fearful of doing so. They are highly self-conscious and easily inhibited by others. Many introverts, on the other hand, socialize easily; they just strongly prefer to do so in very small groups or, sometimes, not at all.

Introversion is a positively healthy, if often misunderstood, way of negotiating the world. With a low threshold for small talk and superficialities, introverts enjoy conversations that are deep and meaningful. That can make them highly attuned to those they engage with. Such notable introverts as Albert Einstein and J.K. Rowling exemplify the creative edge that can come from strong engagement with one’s  inner world

Introverts can make excellent leaders because they tend to be guided by their own values and can make difficult decisions through careful analysis without feeling the intense need for social approval. They influence others and lead them to important goals by quiet power rather than displays of ego. Introverts may do best when l eading people who are proactive , while extroverted leaders can find such people threatening.

Because they have a finite amount of social energy, introverts tend to have one or two close friends rather than a large social circle. They prefer in-depth relationships to casual ones. Given their orientation, introverts run the risk of being seen as not liking others or labeled as aloof or arrogant. They run the clinical risk of being seen as suffering from social phobia or even avoidant personality disorder when they are not.

There’s truth to the belief that opposites attract, and many marriages are happy introvert-extrovert pairings . But especially in novel social settings, introverts and extroverts are at risk of misunderstanding each other. As introverts struggle to monitor all the strands of conversation and may even be plotting an exit strategy, their quiet may be mistaken for deeply engaged listening, which spurs extroverts to keep talking.

Extraverts seem like better leaders and entrepreneurs. However, introverts have advantages.

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Are you an Introvert?

How it works

Let me start off by asking everyone if you think you’re an introvert? For now remember your answers and see if by the end of this speech you find yourselves with a different result. Okay, I am here today trying to be something I’m not. Which is something I’ve been trying to do for awhile now: whether its sharing my ideas, participating in class, writing a speech, or publically speaking in front of people. Now some of you might be thinking ‘she sounds shy’ or ‘she seems nervous.

’ And yes, all of those things are very true but, why? To word it simply, I am an Introvert. Now what is an introvert? According to merriam webster dictionary website an introvert is “a reserved or shy person who enjoys spending time alone.” For others being an introvert means being a quiet person who keeps thoughts to themselves and who loves their personal time. But this doesn’t mean that outgoing people can’t be introverts too, if they enjoy some quiet time to themselves then more than likely they too are introverts at least to a certain extent. So the main idea I want to address today is that it’s okay to be an introvert, it’s okay to prefer to be alone, and it’s okay to be a wallflower.

But sadly society doesn’t share the same way of thinking as I do. Society stresses the idea that being an introvert is one of the worst things you can be and being an extrovert is the way to go. I am constantly told to share my voice whenever I can, to speak up and be heard, and it is often expected of me to be involved in social activities, and as an introvert these expectations are very hard to meet. We are taught that being an outgoing and sociable extrovert is always for the best, but I’m here to show you that being an introvert can have it’s perks too. Statistics show that 50% of america’s population is made of introverts, and society is constantly telling this 50% to fit into the extroverted status quo in order to be happy and to have a fulfilling life. But if you think about it from that 50% over 163 million people came: Tom Hanks, Isaac Newton, Michael Jordan, Meryl Streep, Dr. Seuss, any many other influential people. These people didn’t let the fact that their introverts stop them from achieving their goals or being happy. So neither should you just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your dreams.

According to an study by Ronald Riggio a professor at claremont college, a lot of people assume that “introverts can’t be good leaders, having neither the natural talent nor the desire for leadership… while it is true that more introverted types might not jump at the chance to lead…circumstances can place them there regardless.” There are plenty examples of introverted leaders throughout history from Abraham Lincoln to Bill Gates. Studies show that introverts tend to be more responsible, are great listeners, are versatile, and are very compassionate and understanding. So being an introvert has no real effect on how happy or fulfilling your life will be, as long as you view it in a positive light because focusing on the negative aspects will more than likely cause you to have a pessimistic outlook towards oneself. But when you except yourself and are happy nothing is in your way of achieving your goals and dreams. Overall there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. You just need to be yourself don’t have to change to society’s expectations, because being an introvert wonderful. Now, let me ask you one last time are you an introvert?

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Introverts and Extroverts Personality, Essay Example

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Words: 887

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The fundamental option of an individual personality tends to determine a person coordination and attitude towards the world. The optimal of being introverted and extroverted depends on temperament. Although, the two aspects are biologically influenced, the evident disparities in temperaments can be seen when one is born. Siblings in different families would observe that one child has a high activity degree and feels comfortable in the outer world. On the other hand, another child might be less active and self absorbed. Such general differences in temperamental is the basis for introversion as well as extroversion in cases the family system support the natural personality. The main dissimilarity between the two attitudes remains that an extrovert is comfortable in the outer world, while introverts seem oriented on their concepts, dreams and inner world.

Differences in introverts and extroverts interactions

Many individuals believe that extroverts are sociable and outgoing, although they are energized people when people surround them. Their personality remains contradictory to an introvert as they are energized by spending time alone (Roach, 2007). In most cases, extroverts often fade when they are unaccompanied and become bored definitely, when they are unaccompanied. When an extrovert is given an opportunity, they will often enjoy other people company than looking for solution themselves (Cain, 2012). Extroverts often speak out whatever that is in their minds unlike introverts as they mostly think before they say anything. Extroverts think well when they talk and concepts do not seem authentic unless they discuss them as reflecting on the issues does not feel enough for them (Hunt, Catalano & Lombardo, 2006). Extroverts often enjoy socializing and interacting with other people and create such moments because they like being around other people. They have the ability to strike conversations with people, which makes them socially adept compared to introverts. Introverts have difficulties communicating with strangers about concepts and ideas. Their behavior is the standard of the American community and other behavior is often judged according to the ways extroverts behave. Nevertheless, extroverted behavior is an indication of how extrovert socializes with the world.

The disparities in extroverts as well as introverts at times result to interpersonal conflict. In a case where an introvert and extrovert who are in a relationship are stressed each, one of them tries to use different strategy to cope. An extrovert enjoys shopping, partying as introvert is comfortable in solitude. During their interaction with one another, an extrovert might feel rejected and the other one imposed upon as what reduces stress for an introvert might not work for an extrovert (Cain, 2012). The two classes of people are different, but might view each other as demanding and resistive. It is important to understand their differences, which is important in understanding both personalities.

Motivation from introverts is derive from their inner selves and lean towards their inner world, reflection, and imagery. Their energy comes from within and not the outside world and they value quiet time to think as an extrovert logs for time to join others for different activities. Introverts have a belief that they must be understood to live and are quiet, distant, and shy (Hunt, Catalano & Lombardo, 2006). In case an introvert is tired or stressed, they are likely to keep to themselves and participate in reflective activity. Introverts energy comes from the inner world to attain energy and define the meaning of life. Extroverts are often motivated by the outer world as their attention is mostly directed outward. They are individuals who are friendly, responsive, self-confident, and sociable. They are relaxed and very confident and have a problem understanding life (Cain, 2012). When extroverts are angry, demoralized and stressed, they look outside themselves to gain relief. They often shopping, call friends or arrange a party because they are energized they look for the meaning of life in the outer world. This shows that introverts would find it challenging in dealing with stressful situation unlike extroverts, which makes susceptible to depression.

Extroverts always concentrate on the superficial domain, people, as well as happenings around them. Extroverts feel comfortable in an active surrounding where making of quick decisions seems comfortable. They learn fast by active participation and enjoy talking about ideas and problems they are facing in their lives. On the other hand, introverts enjoy being alone or the company of small groups and are inundated in new situations and large groups. They prefer concentrating on one task at a particular time and keen to analysis different situations before making decisions. Introverts are usually good listeners, and are known for having fewer associates, and friendships they keep are normally very strong. They have better attention span unlike extroverts, which makes them efficient in performing tasks or involved projects. Introverts have better and a lasting memory compared to extroverted counterparts. Introverted people are shy, have poor communication skills and are not interested in interacting with other people, although, these issues do not networking or interacting with strangers challenging. Extroverts are contented in the superficial world as introverts relish their notion, opinions, and inner world.

Cain, S. (2012).  Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that cannot stop talking . New York: Crown Publishers.

Hunt, A. E., Catalano, J. F., & Lombardo, J. P. (January 01, 2006). Reactivity in extroverts and introverts.  Perceptual and Motor Skills, 82,  2.)

Roach, J. H. (January 01, 2007). Autosuggestion in extroverts and introverts.  Journal of Personality, 15,  3, 215-21.

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Feature of Character / Introvert

Introvert Essay Examples

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