Purdue Online Writing Lab Purdue OWL® College of Liberal Arts
Developing Strong Thesis Statements
Welcome to the Purdue OWL
This page is brought to you by the OWL at Purdue University. When printing this page, you must include the entire legal notice.
Copyright ©1995-2018 by The Writing Lab & The OWL at Purdue and Purdue University. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, reproduced, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed without permission. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our terms and conditions of fair use.
The thesis statement or main claim must be debatable
An argumentative or persuasive piece of writing must begin with a debatable thesis or claim. In other words, the thesis must be something that people could reasonably have differing opinions on. If your thesis is something that is generally agreed upon or accepted as fact then there is no reason to try to persuade people.
Example of a non-debatable thesis statement:
This thesis statement is not debatable. First, the word pollution implies that something is bad or negative in some way. Furthermore, all studies agree that pollution is a problem; they simply disagree on the impact it will have or the scope of the problem. No one could reasonably argue that pollution is unambiguously good.
Example of a debatable thesis statement:
This is an example of a debatable thesis because reasonable people could disagree with it. Some people might think that this is how we should spend the nation's money. Others might feel that we should be spending more money on education. Still others could argue that corporations, not the government, should be paying to limit pollution.
Another example of a debatable thesis statement:
In this example there is also room for disagreement between rational individuals. Some citizens might think focusing on recycling programs rather than private automobiles is the most effective strategy.
The thesis needs to be narrow
Although the scope of your paper might seem overwhelming at the start, generally the narrower the thesis the more effective your argument will be. Your thesis or claim must be supported by evidence. The broader your claim is, the more evidence you will need to convince readers that your position is right.
Example of a thesis that is too broad:
There are several reasons this statement is too broad to argue. First, what is included in the category "drugs"? Is the author talking about illegal drug use, recreational drug use (which might include alcohol and cigarettes), or all uses of medication in general? Second, in what ways are drugs detrimental? Is drug use causing deaths (and is the author equating deaths from overdoses and deaths from drug related violence)? Is drug use changing the moral climate or causing the economy to decline? Finally, what does the author mean by "society"? Is the author referring only to America or to the global population? Does the author make any distinction between the effects on children and adults? There are just too many questions that the claim leaves open. The author could not cover all of the topics listed above, yet the generality of the claim leaves all of these possibilities open to debate.
Example of a narrow or focused thesis:
In this example the topic of drugs has been narrowed down to illegal drugs and the detriment has been narrowed down to gang violence. This is a much more manageable topic.
We could narrow each debatable thesis from the previous examples in the following way:
Narrowed debatable thesis 1:
This thesis narrows the scope of the argument by specifying not just the amount of money used but also how the money could actually help to control pollution.
Narrowed debatable thesis 2:
This thesis narrows the scope of the argument by specifying not just what the focus of a national anti-pollution campaign should be but also why this is the appropriate focus.
Qualifiers such as " typically ," " generally ," " usually ," or " on average " also help to limit the scope of your claim by allowing for the almost inevitable exception to the rule.
Types of claims
Claims typically fall into one of four categories. Thinking about how you want to approach your topic, or, in other words, what type of claim you want to make, is one way to focus your thesis on one particular aspect of your broader topic.
Claims of fact or definition: These claims argue about what the definition of something is or whether something is a settled fact. Example:
Claims of cause and effect: These claims argue that one person, thing, or event caused another thing or event to occur. Example:
Claims about value: These are claims made of what something is worth, whether we value it or not, how we would rate or categorize something. Example:
Claims about solutions or policies: These are claims that argue for or against a certain solution or policy approach to a problem. Example:
Which type of claim is right for your argument? Which type of thesis or claim you use for your argument will depend on your position and knowledge of the topic, your audience, and the context of your paper. You might want to think about where you imagine your audience to be on this topic and pinpoint where you think the biggest difference in viewpoints might be. Even if you start with one type of claim you probably will be using several within the paper. Regardless of the type of claim you choose to utilize it is key to identify the controversy or debate you are addressing and to define your position early on in the paper.
- Writing Worksheets and Other Writing Resources
Nine Basic Ways to Improve Your Style in Academic Writing
About the slc.
- Our Mission and Core Values
1. Use ACTIVE VOICE
Don't say: "The stepmother's house was cleaned by Cinderella." (Passive.)
Say instead: "Cinderella cleaned the stepmother's house." (Active voice.)
Passive voice construction ("was cleaned") is reserved for those occasions where the "do-er" of the action is unknown.
Example: "Prince Charming saw the glass slipper that was left behind."
2. Mix it up in terms of PUNCTUATION
Here are a few commonly misused punctuation marks that a lot of people aren't sure about:
The semi-colon (;) separates two complete sentences that are complementary.
Example: "She was always covered in cinders from cleaning the fireplace; they called her Cinderella."
The colon (:) is used...
a. preceding a list.
Example: "Before her stepmother awoke, Cinderella had three chores to complete: feeding the chickens, cooking breakfast, and doing the wash."
b. as a sort of "drum roll," preceding some big revelation.
Example: "One thing fueled the wicked stepmother's hatred for Cinderella: jealousy."
The dash (--) is made by typing two hyphens (-). No spaces go in between the dash and the text. It is used...
a. to bracket off some explanatory information.
Example: "Even Cinderella's stepsisters-who were not nearly as lovely or virtuous as Cinderella--were allowed to go to the ball."
b. in the "drum roll" sense of the colon.
Example: "Prince Charming would find this mystery lady--even if he had to put the slipper on every other girl in the kingdom."
3. Vary your SENTENCE STRUCTURE
Don't say: "Cinderella saw her fairy godmother appear. She was dressed in blue. She held a wand. The wand had a star on it. She was covered in sparkles. Cinderella was amazed. She asked who the woman was. The woman said, 'I am your fairy godmother.' She said she would get Cinderella a dress and a coach. She said she would help Cinderella go to the ball."
Instead say: (there are multiple correct ways to rewrite this, but here's one) "Amazed, Cinderella watched as her fairy godmother appeared. The woman dressed in blue was covered in sparkles and carried a star-shaped wand. Cinderella asked the woman who she was, to which the woman replied, 'I am your fairy godmother." The fairy godmother would get Cinderella a dress and a coach; she would help Cinderella get to the ball."
4. Closely related to this, avoid CHOPPINESS
Don't say: "She scrubbed the floors. They were dirty. She used a mop. She sighed sadly. It was as if she were a servant ."
Instead say : (again, there are multiple ways to do this) "She scrubbed the dirty floors using a mop, as if she were a servant. She sighed sadly."
5. Avoid REPETITION.
Don't say: "The stepsisters were jealous and envious ."
Instead say : "The stepsisters were jealous ." (...or envious. Pick one.)
6. Be CONCISE
Don't say: "The mystery lady was one who every eligible man at the ball admired."
Instead say : "Every eligible man at the ball admired the mystery lady."
7. Use the VOCABULARY that you know.
Don't always feel you have to use big words. It is always better to be clear and use simple language rather than showing off flashy words you aren't sure about and potentially misusing them. This is not to say, however, that you should settle for very weak vocabulary choices (like "bad" or "big" or "mad").
8. But also work on expanding your VOCABULARY.
When reading, look up words you don't know. See how they're used. Start a list. Incorporate them into your writing as you feel comfortable and as they are appropriate.
9. Keep language FORMAL and avoid language of everyday speech.
Don't say: "Cinderella was mellow and good. She never let her stepmother get to her ."
Say instead: "Cinderella was mild-mannered and kind. She never let her stepmother affect her high spirits ."
So, essentially, when it comes to working on style, there are three things to remember:
Empower yourself with knowledge..
Learn to punctuate correctly, enhance your vocabulary, etc. Give yourself all the tools there are so that you are free to...
...Mix it up!
Avoid repetition of words and sentence structure. Variance promotes good "flow" and is more interesting for your reader.
"Write to EXPRESS, not to IMPRESS."
Above all, write actively, clearly, and concisely.
Amber Carini
Student Learning Center, University of California, Berkeley
©2002 UC Regents
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
IMAGES
VIDEO